Thursday, December 31, 2009

What's In For 2010?

What are you doing this New Year's Eve?

This New Year's Eve I will be quietly celebrating and thanking God for helping me through a tough year. But looking back on things I accomplished more than a little this year and anxiously await whats to come with wide eyes. (Those that know me, know I always have a story to tell, LOL). Let's see what chapter I will write next year.

My wish for the New Year is simple. I want to embrace my future full force. The start of a New Year brings about a breath of fresh air, a chance to revive the aspects of your life you once thought passed on.

I wish you all a safe and happy 2010. May the new year bring answers to questions, light where there was hope, love where there was hate, and joy where there was pain.

See you next year.

Love Janelle

Handcrafted natural Butterfly Leaf and Shell Journal/Notebook

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Merry Chirstmas

Wishing you all a safe and Merry Christmas from my family to yours!

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Open Prayer to God

It takes a little voice to remind you things will work out.

Dear God,

I come to you with my heart in your hand and I am not calling you to ask why anymore

I am calling you because I know you are the one I can count on to always pick up when I ring.

You’ll listen to me without that judgmental look

You’ll allow me to cry as many times as I need to without thinking I am too sensitive.

I remember we talked a few days ago and I swore I was doing just fine, but I’m back

I don’t mean to bug you, although I know you won’t mind

Truth is, it hurts

Truth is, I can’t do it alone

Truth is I need…

Well God I really need…I need YOU

I need you Lord to guide me and hear my calls

It’s amazing how wonderful I feel after we talk

We can chat for hours and I am never at a loss for words

I know, I know…I talk too much

But you’re just such a good listener and I know you hear me

Well, God I have to go now

Duty calls, I have to give someone else your number, I hope you don’t mind

If they don’t call you today, just wait for their call

They will definitely call you after I tell them what you told me

God I love you and our conversations…Talk with you soon.

Prayer Written and Spoken By Janelle Wade

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Making it Through This Holiday Season

The Holidays can be a difficult time for many people. Those that have lost loved ones, the homeless, the poor, the sick, and the lonely. Sometimes we forget that people around us are silently suffering through what should be the happiest time of the year.

Holidays are filled with joy and cheer, parties and gifts, and most importantly friends and family. So how do you cope through this blissful season when something in your life is surely missing?

I can say that I have managed through all of the situations above, with difficulty of course, but more importantly with strength and the grace of God. I remember not having a dime to my name and no real place to call home one Christmas. It was a very sad time for me. The thought of Christmas gave me a sense of isolation and a queasy feeling to my stomach. Instead of allowing the feeling to overcome me, I made some adjustments. I remember buying a plant and making decorations from notebook paper to attach to it to call “my Christmas tree”. It wasn’t much but it brightened the table of the dingy hotel room that was called home. I can’t say what I ate that year, but I do know it was a humbling experience. I never looked at the Holidays the same again.

You see the season isn’t about what you have or what you can give monetarily; it is about how you allow God into your heart. Without prayer and hope I don’t know where I’d be. Hope is a powerful trait to possess. Having hope, and the belief that situations will get better are the ends to all mean when you are down on life. The constant belief that God will help you through, leads for a brighter day and a new beginning. I know it may sound cliché and sometimes hard to understand, but it is true that if God bought you to it, he will lead you through it, you simply have to listen

The lonely are often overlooked because the shear emotion of being lonely is something that doesn’t have to physically display itself to the world. Rather it is something a person could be holding inside. An invite to a Christmas dinner or holiday party could be all that someone needs to help make that day easier. While some people that are dealing with depression choose to be alone, others yearn for a sense of acceptance. When you are healing through a rough time, it is natural to cry and feel alone. One way to take your mind off the pain is to surround yourself with people that love you as much you love them. If you don’t have anyone like this in your life, it is a great idea to volunteer to help others (if you have the capability). Volunteer at a homeless shelter, send a child a gift, or help an elderly neighbor wrap Christmas gifts. Initially it may be difficult to go and you may want to stay at home and feel your pain, but once you are out and about your mind won’t feel as cluttered.

Life difficulties can be overwhelming, but remember the Holidays are just another week and this too shall pass.

Happy Holidays and a Bright New Year
With Love, Janelle

Monday, December 7, 2009

My Hopes for the Future

I have been contemplating my wants over the past week. I have never focused on what is that I want in life. I have always focused on making sure others around me were happy and taken care of. But these last few years have taught me that it is more important to take care of myself first in order to take care of others.

My hopes for the future are simple, yet so complicated. I want to be happy. Truly happy. I don't need riches or material things to accomplish this I just need to tune the channel on ME. I have never been selfish before, so I can't wait to see what it feels like.

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Aloe Vera Juice

Aloe vera juice is claims to be a cure all. I recently stop by the health food store and it was recommended that I try aloe vera juice for digestive issues and all over health. I had tried aloe vera juice in the past with failed results, so I was a bit hesitant. At any rate I tried it again. I have been drinking 6- 8 oz of aloe vera juice each morning mixed with juice and I love the result so far. My digestive system is loving it and my skin is glowing. Not to mention I have lost about 7 pounds of store water weight. If you don't know about aloe vera juice then I suggest you research its healing powers and benefits.

Crossed and Braided

This weeks hair style is a new one for me to try out. The pictures are not that great, but the hair is crossed and braid into each other. She has eight braids and I used EO leave in conditioner and of course my jojoba and sweet almond oil mixture. I will see if this last me at least 3 days...I pray it does. Again remember the key to maintaining the hair style is allow the little one to sleep in a satin bonnet.

Xmas Wish List

On my wish list this year is a clear and full heart.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

EO Conditioner

I'm in love with a new product. (Seriously this time, LOL).

I waited for awhile before I reviewed this product, but I had to share. I absolutely loveeeeeeeeeee this stuff.

The ingredients are as follows:

Purified Water, Behentrimonium Methosulfate (and) Cetearyl Alcohol, Glyceryl Stearate, Stearyl Alcohol, Cetyl Alcohol, Vegetable Glycerin, Organic Olive (Olea Europaea) Oil, Organic Jojoba (Simmondsia chinensis) Oil, Organic Coconut (Cocos Nucifera) Oil, Behenalkonium Chloride (and) Cetyl Alcohol, Panthenol, Hydrolyzed Quinoa Protein, Hibiscus (Rosa Sinensis) Extract, Gotu Kola (Centella Asiatica) Extract, Hair Nourishing Complex [Papaya Fruit Extract, Evening Primrose (Oenothera Biennis) Flower Extract, Alfalfa (Medicago Sativa) Extract, Pomegranate (Punica Granatum) Extract], EO® Essential Oil Blend [Lavender (Lavandula Officinalis) Essential Oil, Lavandin (Lavandula Hybrida) Essential Oil], EO® Organic Herbal Blend [Organic Aloe Vera (Aloe Barbadensis),Organic Chamomile (Matricaria Recutita) Extract, Organic Calendula (Calendula Officinalis) Extract, and Organic White Tea (Camelia Sinensis) Leaf Extract], Guar Hydroxypropyltrimonium Chloride, Organic Lecithin, Retinyl Palmitate (Vitamin A), Tocopherol (Vitamin E), Sodium Phytate, Phenoxyethanol, Ethylhexylglycerin

I have used it to do braid outs on both wet and damp natural hair. I use a large amount as a leave-in conditioner and let a little cool water (a stream) run through my hair to distribute the product, after I let it air dry about 60% and I style.

I use it for wet buns and most recently I used it on my flat ironed hair to set my rollers. Awwwwwwwww I am amazed at how soft my hair feels. The product is so light weight it is perfect for my fine hair. It is non-greasy and very moisturizing. During this time that my hair is flat ironed I have been using a dime sized amount on the ends of my hair and sealing with a drop of sweet almond oil and then roller setting my hair at night in a high ponytail. On a scale of 1-5 this product gets a 5+. I will try the other products in the EO line after the holidays and review those later. But for now this is definitely a keeper.

Letting Go Phase 3 “Finding Yourself”

Finding yourself through pain can be difficult. When we are hurt we internalize the pain and somehow view the person actions as a reflection of who we are. But in reality their behavior is what is wrong and not you as a person.

Children are placed in time out for their bad behavior, but as adults, people tend to believe that their actions don’t deserve punishment. More times than not they even justify their own bad behavior by belittling the other person. Ego, pride, self esteem, etc. all play a key role in how the guilty party reacts in a situation. It is simple to place the blame on the other person rather than admitting and apologizing for their wrong actions.

In a time of hurt and despair it is easy to absorb hurtful words and believe in some way you deserved to be mistreated. Although it is easier said than done, to move pass this stage of letting go, underneath all the pain is the truth. Find who you are and have always been and do not allow anyone to change that. If you are a kind, gentle, and caring person continue to be that person. Society tends to view loving people as weak, but it takes far more strength to be graceful and loving than it does to be cruel and malicious.

Do not worry about what others may think, because in the end you know the truth and that is what has to hold you together in order to move forward.

Monday, November 30, 2009

Food for Thought

Food for Thought #5 "Under the Surface"- More is less, too much isn't good enough, and the truth LIES beneath. Sometimes no matter what we do, our circumstances or those that are a special part of us lead us to believe we will never be good enough. When you've given all you can and are left empty, it can leave you in a state of confusion, embarrassment, and frustration. Love should never leave you feeling in that manner, if so it's time to reevaluate who you give your heart too.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Being In Real Love

Remembers what it feels like to be in love with someone so wonderful and sweet, damn I've missed ME...but I fell in love with myself all over again.Was wondering why I ever broke up with me?But that doesn't matter now, I've figured out there is no feeling better than the intimacy of knowing who you are.(If I can't have... me, no one can. I'm selfish too, because I know that no one can love me like I do.)

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Red Is Hot- Styling the Little Lady's Natural Hair

So I decided to post my daughter's hair progress and more so my ability to style it easier. She has 4a hair and some 3c in her lower back. Her lower back is nearly touching waist length when stretched.

Steps to achieving and maintaining this style. As I have said in several post I am beyond busy each day and the mornings are a riot. So I generally style her hair at night and she wears a satin bonnet to bed.

I used water, Giovanni direct leave-in Conditioner, one drop of jojoba oil and about two drops of sweet almond oil. This style was a refresher from a previous style from three days ago.

First I spritz the hair with water to dampen it and then added the leave in conditioner ( about a palm per section). Next I stretched the hair with my hands only to loosen the curls. Then I detangle slowly from ends to roots. After hair was complete moistened with mainly conditioner I added the oils to the ends of the hair.

I secured the sections with ouch-less bands and twisted. I add the barrettes to the top of the hair and ends to accessorize. This will probably last another 3 days and then it is time to redo. Throughout the days I will spritz each morning with Trader Joe's Nourishing Spa Conditioner and water. I add a small amount of oil to the ends to seal.

This is just another way I try to keep my self on schedule for busy school mornings. There is no way I can squeeze in taming her hair each morning. The bonnet is a life saver.

Saturday, November 14, 2009

How to Help a Child Start a Journal

This post is one that my little girl suggested I write about. My daughter keeps a journal and feels that it is important to write in your journal during private times. (She is 6 years old BTW). Anyway, I could not agree with her more. Keeping a personal journal and writing in it during quiet time is a wonderful way for young children to express themselves and practice their penmanship. She enjoys reading and drawing, so the journal is filled with small pictures she draws and “Dear ___”, letters she writes.

This was an inspiring post because she spoke very clearly about what should be inside the journal for beginners. Here were her suggestions for topics to write about:

1. A Wish List- (i.e. Dreams of taking trips to America, Africa, Canada, The Bahamas, etc.)
2. Things your teachers do daily
3. Stuff you like to do (i.e. eat fruit, eat vegetable, ride your bike, help people etc.)
4. Draw pictures

She was very clear about the information written in the journal should only be about you and no one else.

Children are amazing because they think of things right away without an expensive degree or having a black couch for someone to lay on (LOL). We all know that journaling is often suggested when people are dealing with issues of pain, guilt, depression, etc. But journaling is not just that, it is a healthy way for keeping record of daily activities, diet habits, and more. For me journaling is a fun way to express my creativity. I generally write out poems and other writings,
Keeping a journal can be a wonderful experience for young children.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Letting Go Phase 2- Forgiveness

Forgiveness is often times seen as the most difficult thing to do, especially when someone has betrayed your trust or hurt you emotionally. The disbelief that someone you love could mistreat you, is often times enough to make you dislike that person forever. But is it really?

Personally I find it hard to hate, and I find it even more emotionally tiring to allow someone to occupy my daily thoughts with negative memories. So it brings me to phase 2 in the quest to Letting Go. Forgiveness is not as hard as it seems. I am not saying by any means that you allow people into your life that you know will do harm, but I am saying that in order to move on you have to forgive them. Forgiveness is not about accepting a person's apology because if they are what I call "a relentless" person, chances are they will never apologize or when they do it was long overdue.

So forgiveness starts from within. Deciding to forgive someone can be very emotional. You can go from feeling as though you want revenge, to feeling unbelievably disappointed and finally to feeling sorry for them. But when you are at the place when you are ready to forgive someone you can simply say out loud in room with only you. "Person's name I forgive you". Once those words are uttered, you need not do anymore. You do not have to tell them that they have been forgiven (if you all are no longer speaking) nor do you have to share this accomplishment with those around you that knew of the wrong doing (unless you want too). Deciding to forgive someone is a personal experience. The forgiveness I am speaking of comes from deep within and is hard to surface if you are bottled down with hurt feelings. There is no time frame as to when you should forgive someone or to what extent. I personally know that in order to move forward you have to forgive.

Spirituality is very important to me. While I don't live a sin free life (no one is perfect). I do hold very close the notion that God is the creator and ruler of all things. Therefore it is pointless for me to punish someone for what I deem a sin, when God already has that on his agenda or not. Spending countless time hating someone or wishing them a rough life only makes you to grow old in spirit and become subdued in their mistreatment against you. So as we embark and embrace the start of a fresh tomorrow, remember forgive and forget. Do not allow past hurts to cloud your judgment of someone that may have been sent as a blessing. Also don't allow forgiveness to cloud your experiences, learn from them and move on and vow to never make the same mistake twice.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Food For Thought #4

While you are busy hating someone or wishing them ill will, chances are they have no clue nor have they given you a second thought. Life is too short to waste precious time trying to be like others. Get your own dreams, you'll never be able to fit another shoes, GOD made them a custom fit. Besides people with ambition have BIG shoes to fill and you may just trip trying to take a step in them.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Food For Thought #3

Parenting- Is it important that your kids like you and laugh with every second of the day? Should you be your child's friend?

Sometimes parents get so involved in being "cool" with their children, they overlook a major detail. Discipline. Unfortunately this is one reason kids are getting out of control, lack of discipline, lack of rules, and lack of preparedness. Allow this to marinate for a moment. If kids were aware of consequences at home, do you think they would have the preparation for consequences of life?

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Letting Go Phase 1- Acknowledgment

My previous post started a discussion regarding healing old wounds. This sparked the idea to create a series on step to "Letting Go"

Phase 1 of my series on self improvement, "Letting Go" is acknowledgment.

Before you can heal you have to recognize that you have not only been hurt, but that you are still hurting. Regardless of how long ago the hurt began, the first step to recovery is to realize you need to recover, and to recover you have to get over it.

Acknowledging past pains that are clouding your present and darkening your future will help you make room for new achievements, new loves, new self appreciation, and new confidence. A tip is to sit quietly with yourself and think about what is hurting you, what is truly bringing you down. Once you realize you are still hurt by someone's past actions or abuse, realize you have to move past the stage of trying to understand why. Sometimes why has no answer. Simply saying I am hurt and I want to move on is the path you want to begin on.

The road to letting go and moving forward is like driving down a dark dirt road in an area you've never driven. It's dark and scary, but you know to get where you are going you will have to keep driving forward.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Christmas Shopping Anyone?

It's that time of the year for me. Time to start Christmas planning and shopping. I love the holidays in the sense of giving. I generally starting planning this month and will start my shopping a week before Halloween. My shopping consists of mainly gift shopping for my little girl. I like to start early, not only because you can catch some nice deals, but also because you don't have to worry about things being sold out.

Well for those of you that may be interested Kmart is offering online layaway. Yep you heard it right, you can pick your items online and set-up online payments. You can then pick your items up in the store after your balance is paid. Interesting, huh?

You can get more information at

It is important to budget and plan ahead for this year especially because we are still in a recession and we don't want to wake-up with buyer's regret in January 2010.

Let's make a positive effort this year to not only put smiles on loved ones faces, but also keep a happy face on that checking account for 2010!

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

What Ya Reading?

For the month of October I will be reading "Making Great Decisions" I will be reviewing this book at the end of the month. I encourage you to read with me and share your thoughts.

Book Excerpt

Before You Take the First Step -- Reflect, Discern

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step."

-- Chinese proverb

I can trace every success or failure in my life back to something I did or didn't decide effectively. Whether in the course of developing relationships, doing business, selecting investments, or accepting invitations, I've found a direct correlation between my location on life's highway and my decisions to turn, exit, stop, or start. Extenuating circumstances beyond my control were always involved, yet more times than not, I was a victim or victor of my own making, achieving or failing because I did or did not put in place the necessary prerequisites to accomplish my desired goals. Now, to be sure, I am not a self-flagellating individual who uses this premise to blame and belittle myself for past decisions and their consequences. No, I am saying that my decisions set the course of my life.

I have now been married to the same woman, the mother of my children, for over twenty-five years. That relationship decision has set the climate of my life much like a thermostat on a heating system sets the temperature in a room. In keeping with this concept, persons in a room may not know that the temperature is affected by the smallest incremental movement of a drop of mercury in a device at an unnoticed location. In spite of its invisibility to the inhabitants of the room it still affects the comfort level of everyone present. Similarly, my key relationship decision, and many other decisions I have made, affect me and all those around me. Good results are a direct reflection of myability to think through, discern correctly, and move succinctly from the trajectory of my last decision

Monday, October 5, 2009

All I Want for Christmas...

Aside from wanting to have a wonderful Christmas this year, I do want a new toy. Generally I don't want anything for Christmas, but this year I have been working my butt off in school and I think I deserve it.

I have been keeping my eye on this camcorder for a while now it retails at $199 and I want it. If it comes in pink that would be even better. I have used it before and it is very basic, but creates great videos.

Saturday, October 3, 2009

Review "How To Bake a Cupcake"

As promised, I completed reading this book a couple of nights ago. With my busy schedule I have devoted reading a few pages a night to my "leisurely reading".

This book is unlike any book I've read. It was about an African American young lady, her acceptance of love, and learning to put the guard down that so many of us "beautiful brownies" tend to hold on to in an effort to protect ourselves.

The character, Jasmine Taylor, was smart, sophisticated, and sassy. The level of hurt in her past held her back from experiencing something great.

The book is clean and loving. I describe it as being sweet. It is a change from the normal and I loved it. Two thumbs up to author H.L. Sweate for displaying in a wholesome way, the emotional confrontations young women hide within their hearts. I could definitely relate to the character and almost feel as though the story was speaking directly to some of my experiences. Check it out for yourself.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Extended Family

When I refer to extended family, I am speaking of your significant others', spouses, secondary family etc., I think there is a misconception that all extended family dislike each other. I would like to know more perspectives. I really want to hear success stories. I love my extended family and often wonder if others are as blessed.

In many countries it is expected and acceptable for the married couple to move their parents into their home. American culture is a bit different. We tend to go the opposite of wanting to leave our parents home as soon as possible. I would love to know more of cultures that do this. That will be my next research project.

But lately I have just wondered why is it that if you are dating someone you can not get along with their family? Or why do people feel that everyone has to dislike their mother/father-in law?

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Celebrating My Blessing

Today was one of the happiest days I've had in a long time. I celebrated my daughter's birthday. We were surrounded by family, extended family, and close friends. She was so grateful and happy. My heart smiled each time she laughed.

"Hello Kitty" was her co-star to this star filled event. I am sure this will be a day my little ladybug will never forget.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

I Can't Sleep Baby....

Insomnia is something millions of people suffer with. I happen to be one of those people. Insomnia is the inability to sleep or stay asleep at night. It can be very dangerous and damaging to your health. Insomnia often takes a toll on how you function throughout the day. It effects your ability to concentrate and your overall mood. I am working on changing my sleeping habits. I decided to do some research to discover what natural cures exist to help me fall asleep. During my research, I discovered some alarming facts. Insomnia is the following:
  • Difficulty falling asleep at night
  • Awakening during the night
  • Awakening too early
  • Not feeling well rested after a night's sleep
  • Daytime fatigue or sleepiness
  • Irritability, depression or anxiety
  • Difficulty paying attention or focusing on tasks
  • Increased errors or accidents
  • Tension headaches
  • Gastrointestinal symptoms
  • Ongoing worries about sleep

Complications of insomnia may include:

  • Lower performance on the job or at school
  • Slowed reaction time while driving and higher risk of accidents
  • Psychiatric problems, such as depression or an anxiety disorder
  • Overweight or obesity
  • Poor immune system function
  • Increased risk and severity of long-term diseases, such as high blood pressure, heart disease and diabetes
Suggested lifestyle changes:
  • Stick to a sleep schedule. Keep your bedtime and wake time consistent from day to day, including on weekends.
  • Get out of bed when you're not sleeping. Sleep as much as needed to feel rested, and then get out of bed. If you can't sleep, get out of bed after 15 minutes and do something relaxing, such as reading.
  • Avoid trying to sleep. The harder you try, the more awake you'll become. Read or watch television until you become very drowsy, then go to bed to sleep.
  • Use your bed and bedroom only for sleeping or intimate relations. Don't read, watch TV, work or eat in bed.
  • Find ways to relax. A warm bath before bedtime can help prepare you for sleep. Having your partner give you a massage also may help relax you. Create a relaxing bedtime ritual, such as reading, soft music, breathing exercises, yoga or prayer.
  • Avoid or limit naps. Naps can make it harder to fall asleep at night. If you can't get by without one, try to limit a nap to no more than 30 minutes and don't nap after 3 p.m.
  • Make your bedroom comfortable for sleep. Close your bedroom door or create a subtle background noise, such as a running fan, to help drown out other noises. Keep your bedroom temperature comfortable, usually cooler than during the day, and dark. Don't keep a computer or TV in your bedroom.
  • Exercise and stay active. Get at least 20 to 30 minutes of vigorous exercise daily at least five to six hours before bedtime.
  • Avoid or limit caffeine, alcohol and nicotine. Caffeine after lunchtime and using nicotine can keep you from falling asleep at night. Alcohol, while it may initially make you feel sleepy, can cause unrestful sleep and frequent awakenings.
  • Avoid large meals and beverages before bed. A light snack is fine, but eating too much late in the evening can interfere with sleep. Drink less before bedtime so that you won't have to go to the toilet as often.
  • Check your medications. If you take medications regularly, check with your doctor to see if they may be contributing to your insomnia. Also check the labels of over-the-counter products to see if they contain caffeine or other stimulants, such as pseudoephedrine.
  • Don't put up with pain. If a painful condition bothers you, make sure the pain reliever you take is effective enough to control your pain while you're sleeping.
  • Hide the bedroom clocks. Set your alarm so that you know when to get up, but then hide all clocks in your bedroom. The less you know what time it is at night, the better you'll sleep.
I will be doing the following highlighted in red over the next week to see if a change comes.

I too will sleep again.


Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Huge Hair

I flat ironed my hair for the first time in a long time and it has seriously grown. It is much thicker and healthier, but it is huge (LOL). It is bigger than I am use to seeing and I did not get it as straight as I normally wear it.

I got a new blow dryer that I love. The comb is short enough to get the roots of my hair perfectly and the dryer is lightweight. I still need to get my blow drying technique down, but for now it will do.

Monday, September 21, 2009

Make it Fun

I have joined the gym twice in the past two years and each time I find that I don't have the time to go to the gym. No matter how I try to adjust my schedule I don't have two hours to spare (travel + workout=not enough time).

About a year and half ago I purchased this lovely little weighted hula hoop. It is great. I must say I lost about 6 inches around my waist doing this thing about 4 times a week.

Lately I have pumped up my workout and I dance to the Michael Jackson "Beat It" CD. Yes, the entire CD. I have it on my mp3 player, I turn it up and just go. I sweat so hard with this thing. It is the absolute best. Give it a try and let me know what you think. It retails for $28-$46 depending on the size you get.

For more information visit

Food for Thought #2

Can a leopard change his spots? Domestic violence..can a woman beater stop hitting his wife forever or does his "essential nature" to overpower the physically smaller species lurk deep in his mind, making it only a matter of time before it resurfaces? (Observations)

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Coping With Feeling Overwhelmed

  • Have you ever felt rushed and hurried in everything you do, including eating a simple meal?
  • Does it feel as though you are late for everything?
  • Do you sometimes feel as though you literally can not sit in your chair?

If you can answer yes to most of these chances are you are overwhelmed. As a mother of a young girl, full-time employee, full-time student, and all around superwoman, sometimes I feel overwhelmed. You all know what I mean. The feeling of wanting to scream if the next person even thinks to ask you to lend your hand.

Sometimes we stretch ourselves too thin without taking a moment for ourselves. In the long run you do more harm than good for yourself and those that love you. You don't want to become the evil two headed snake monster about to explode any minute. I know this feeling all too well, wishing that someone would just give you a little time away. Here is the truth, are you listening, are you reading this very carefully?

Well here goes....

NO ONE is going to give you a moment. Everyone and everything needs your attention. So what you have to do is steal time away for yourself. Call it a "me hour", "a mini vacation", "a special moment", call it whatever you want. Just take it.

I know what you are thinking, there are not enough hours in the day for any of the above mentioned things. But there is. Here are a few tips:

  1. Go to bed 30 minutes earlier during the week
  2. Stay up an extra hour on the weekend to just relax (i.e, read, write, watch a movie, cuddle, etc.).
  3. Schedule a vacation day or half day off from work while the kids are in school (go see a matinee)
  4. Start a hobby that is yours and for you ( I am learning to crochet)
  5. My Favorite (Go for a 20 minute walk, even if it is on lunch)

I know these are not fabulous tips. But they each will make you feel better over time if done consistently. Try them and let me know what you think.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Food for Thought #1

"When was the last time you told your man or woman that he/she is appreciated?" As individuals it is often forgotten to just smile at the reasons you love someone, and remind them with a gentle hug around their waist..that you'll never let them go. Try it! You will make someone's time here a little more special. Hug love, and kiss while you can. We never know what tomorrow brings.

What Ya, Reading?

School can become overwhelming at times. That along with my other responsibilities leaves me limited time for myself. So, I have decided to read one non-school related book a week. I feel that I need this balance because I began to notice that I have long forgotten about my love for reading. Each month I will read one fictional book and post a short review. If you want a few good reads, follow my "What Ya Reading" post monthly.

This month I am reading "How to Bake a Cupcake" By H.L. Sweatte. Here is the editorial review from Amazon.

Editorial Reviews

Unpredictably sweet and oh so tempting... Jasmine Fairchild may be every guy's fantasy, but she's nobody's fool. As an English major at the University of California, Berkeley, Jasmine is blazing a path to success and craves a partner that shares her ambitious spirit. She has her heart set on Stacey Fisher, the dean's son and star quarterback of the football team, but the older and mysterious Jackson Taylor uses his undeniable good looks and charm to ensure she keeps her options open. Choosing between two men isn't Jasmine's biggest dilemma-overcoming a painful past and her current commitment-phobic ways proves much more difficult. Only time will tell if she can bear the right ingredients to form a solid love connection with the one that proves to be Mr. Right, for any seasoned dater knows that good looks and charm will only get you so far. After all, even a delectably enticing dessert can prove bitter to the taste once it's been burned.

Friday, September 11, 2009

Grown-Up Dora

So Dora has gotten a makeover and as the mother of a soon to be 6 year old. I love the doll. She is still kid friendly enough for 6 -8 year old but okay for 9-10 years old also.

In my opinion it keeps my child interested in playing with dolls as they grow older and their features change.

The only thing I don't like about the doll is that it does not look like the younger version of Dora enough.

If my daughter likes this new Dora, I will be purchasing it because it is just another step to help a young girl as she goes through those many stages of no longer feeling like a baby, but still loves her dolls.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Education is Power

Please be sure to view President Barack Obama's speech to encourage students to stay in school.

Prepared Remarks of President Barack Obama
Back to School Event

Arlington, Virginia
September 8, 2009

The President: Hello everyone – how’s everybody doing today? I’m here with students at Wakefield High School in Arlington, Virginia. And we’ve got students tuning in from all across America, kindergarten through twelfth grade. I’m glad you all could join us today.
I know that for many of you, today is the first day of school. And for those of you in kindergarten, or starting middle or high school, it’s your first day in a new school, so it’s understandable if you’re a little nervous. I imagine there are some seniors out there who are feeling pretty good right now, with just one more year to go. And no matter what grade you’re in, some of you are probably wishing it were still summer, and you could’ve stayed in bed just a little longer this morning.
I know that feeling. When I was young, my family lived in Indonesia for a few years, and my mother didn’t have the money to send me where all the American kids went to school. So she decided to teach me extra lessons herself, Monday through Friday – at 4:30 in the morning.
Now I wasn’t too happy about getting up that early. A lot of times, I’d fall asleep right there at the kitchen table. But whenever I’d complain, my mother would just give me one of those looks and say, "This is no picnic for me either, buster."
So I know some of you are still adjusting to being back at school. But I’m here today because I have something important to discuss with you. I’m here because I want to talk with you about your education and what’s expected of all of you in this new school year.
Now I’ve given a lot of speeches about education. And I’ve talked a lot about responsibility.
I’ve talked about your teachers’ responsibility for inspiring you, and pushing you to learn.
I’ve talked about your parents’ responsibility for making sure you stay on track, and get your homework done, and don’t spend every waking hour in front of the TV or with that Xbox.
I’ve talked a lot about your government’s responsibility for setting high standards, supporting teachers and principals, and turning around schools that aren’t working where students aren’t getting the opportunities they deserve.
But at the end of the day, we can have the most dedicated teachers, the most supportive parents, and the best schools in the world – and none of it will matter unless all of you fulfill your responsibilities. Unless you show up to those schools; pay attention to those teachers; listen to your parents, grandparents and other adults; and put in the hard work it takes to succeed.
And that’s what I want to focus on today: the responsibility each of you has for your education. I want to start with the responsibility you have to yourself.
Every single one of you has something you’re good at. Every single one of you has something to offer. And you have a responsibility to yourself to discover what that is. That’s the opportunity an education can provide.
Maybe you could be a good writer – maybe even good enough to write a book or articles in a newspaper – but you might not know it until you write a paper for your English class. Maybe you could be an innovator or an inventor – maybe even good enough to come up with the next iPhone or a new medicine or vaccine – but you might not know it until you do a project for your science class. Maybe you could be a mayor or a Senator or a Supreme Court Justice, but you might not know that until you join student government or the debate team.
And no matter what you want to do with your life – I guarantee that you’ll need an education to do it. You want to be a doctor, or a teacher, or a police officer? You want to be a nurse or an architect, a lawyer or a member of our military? You’re going to need a good education for every single one of those careers. You can’t drop out of school and just drop into a good job. You’ve got to work for it and train for it and learn for it.
And this isn’t just important for your own life and your own future. What you make of your education will decide nothing less than the future of this country. What you’re learning in school today will determine whether we as a nation can meet our greatest challenges in the future.
You’ll need the knowledge and problem-solving skills you learn in science and math to cure diseases like cancer and AIDS, and to develop new energy technologies and protect our environment. You’ll need the insights and critical thinking skills you gain in history and social studies to fight poverty and homelessness, crime and discrimination, and make our nation more fair and more free. You’ll need the creativity and ingenuity you develop in all your classes to build new companies that will create new jobs and boost our economy.
We need every single one of you to develop your talents, skills and intellect so you can help solve our most difficult problems. If you don’t do that – if you quit on school – you’re not just quitting on yourself, you’re quitting on your country.
Now I know it’s not always easy to do well in school. I know a lot of you have challenges in your lives right now that can make it hard to focus on your schoolwork.
I get it. I know what that’s like. My father left my family when I was two years old, and I was raised by a single mother who struggled at times to pay the bills and wasn’t always able to give us things the other kids had. There were times when I missed having a father in my life. There were times when I was lonely and felt like I didn’t fit in.
So I wasn’t always as focused as I should have been. I did some things I’m not proud of, and got in more trouble than I should have. And my life could have easily taken a turn for the worse.
But I was fortunate. I got a lot of second chances and had the opportunity to go to college, and law school, and follow my dreams. My wife, our First Lady Michelle Obama, has a similar story. Neither of her parents had gone to college, and they didn’t have much. But they worked hard, and she worked hard, so that she could go to the best schools in this country.
Some of you might not have those advantages. Maybe you don’t have adults in your life who give you the support that you need. Maybe someone in your family has lost their job, and there’s not enough money to go around. Maybe you live in a neighborhood where you don’t feel safe, or have friends who are pressuring you to do things you know aren’t right.
But at the end of the day, the circumstances of your life – what you look like, where you come from, how much money you have, what you’ve got going on at home – that’s no excuse for neglecting your homework or having a bad attitude. That’s no excuse for talking back to your teacher, or cutting class, or dropping out of school. That’s no excuse for not trying.
Where you are right now doesn’t have to determine where you’ll end up. No one’s written your destiny for you. Here in America, you write your own destiny. You make your own future.
That’s what young people like you are doing every day, all across America.
Young people like Jazmin Perez, from Roma, Texas. Jazmin didn’t speak English when she first started school. Hardly anyone in her hometown went to college, and neither of her parents had gone either. But she worked hard, earned good grades, got a scholarship to Brown University, and is now in graduate school, studying public health, on her way to being Dr. Jazmin Perez.
I’m thinking about Andoni Schultz, from Los Altos, California, who’s fought brain cancer since he was three. He’s endured all sorts of treatments and surgeries, one of which affected his memory, so it took him much longer – hundreds of extra hours – to do his schoolwork. But he never fell behind, and he’s headed to college this fall.
And then there’s Shantell Steve, from my hometown of Chicago, Illinois. Even when bouncing from foster home to foster home in the toughest neighborhoods, she managed to get a job at a local health center; start a program to keep young people out of gangs; and she’s on track to graduate high school with honors and go on to college.
Jazmin, Andoni and Shantell aren’t any different from any of you. They faced challenges in their lives just like you do. But they refused to give up. They chose to take responsibility for their education and set goals for themselves. And I expect all of you to do the same.
That’s why today, I’m calling on each of you to set your own goals for your education – and to do everything you can to meet them. Your goal can be something as simple as doing all your homework, paying attention in class, or spending time each day reading a book. Maybe you’ll decide to get involved in an extracurricular activity, or volunteer in your community. Maybe you’ll decide to stand up for kids who are being teased or bullied because of who they are or how they look, because you believe, like I do, that all kids deserve a safe environment to study and learn. Maybe you’ll decide to take better care of yourself so you can be more ready to learn. And along those lines, I hope you’ll all wash your hands a lot, and stay home from school when you don’t feel well, so we can keep people from getting the flu this fall and winter.
Whatever you resolve to do, I want you to commit to it. I want you to really work at it.
I know that sometimes, you get the sense from TV that you can be rich and successful without any hard work -- that your ticket to success is through rapping or basketball or being a reality TV star, when chances are, you’re not going to be any of those things.
But the truth is, being successful is hard. You won’t love every subject you study. You won’t click with every teacher. Not every homework assignment will seem completely relevant to your life right this minute. And you won’t necessarily succeed at everything the first time you try.
That’s OK. Some of the most successful people in the world are the ones who’ve had the most failures. JK Rowling’s first Harry Potter book was rejected twelve times before it was finally published. Michael Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team, and he lost hundreds of games and missed thousands of shots during his career. But he once said, "I have failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed."
These people succeeded because they understand that you can’t let your failures define you – you have to let them teach you. You have to let them show you what to do differently next time. If you get in trouble, that doesn’t mean you’re a troublemaker, it means you need to try harder to behave. If you get a bad grade, that doesn’t mean you’re stupid, it just means you need to spend more time studying.
No one’s born being good at things, you become good at things through hard work. You’re not a varsity athlete the first time you play a new sport. You don’t hit every note the first time you sing a song. You’ve got to practice. It’s the same with your schoolwork. You might have to do a math problem a few times before you get it right, or read something a few times before you understand it, or do a few drafts of a paper before it’s good enough to hand in.
Don’t be afraid to ask questions. Don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it. I do that every day. Asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness, it’s a sign of strength. It shows you have the courage to admit when you don’t know something, and to learn something new. So find an adult you trust – a parent, grandparent or teacher; a coach or counselor – and ask them to help you stay on track to meet your goals.
And even when you’re struggling, even when you’re discouraged, and you feel like other people have given up on you – don’t ever give up on yourself. Because when you give up on yourself, you give up on your country.
The story of America isn’t about people who quit when things got tough. It’s about people who kept going, who tried harder, who loved their country too much to do anything less than their best.
It’s the story of students who sat where you sit 250 years ago, and went on to wage a revolution and found this nation. Students who sat where you sit 75 years ago who overcame a Depression and won a world war; who fought for civil rights and put a man on the moon. Students who sat where you sit 20 years ago who founded Google, Twitter and Facebook and changed the way we communicate with each other.
So today, I want to ask you, what’s your contribution going to be? What problems are you going to solve? What discoveries will you make? What will a president who comes here in twenty or fifty or one hundred years say about what all of you did for this country?
Your families, your teachers, and I are doing everything we can to make sure you have the education you need to answer these questions. I’m working hard to fix up your classrooms and get you the books, equipment and computers you need to learn. But you’ve got to do your part too. So I expect you to get serious this year. I expect you to put your best effort into everything you do. I expect great things from each of you. So don’t let us down – don’t let your family or your country or yourself down. Make us all proud. I know you can do it.
Thank you, God bless you, and God bless America.

Monday, September 7, 2009

Food for thought!

"when was the last time you told your man or woman that he/she is appreciated?" As individuals it is often forgotten to just smile at the reasons you love someone, and remind them with a gentle hug around their waist..that you'll never let them go. Try it! You will make someone's time here a little more special. Hug love, and kiss while you can. We never know what tomorrow brings.

School Kicked Off This Week

School has started again. My class is extremely interesting so this should be great. I am taking Environmental health. My program is flying by and I am learning so much. On other notes it is getting close to my hair care anniversary. It will be one year 9/25 to the last time I went to a salon. Since that last year I have only straightened my hair twice. I am in a "take back your challenge" and i can only use heat twice do the challenge. That should be easy, I plan to straighten at my one year mark and not again until November.

I hope everyone is have a blast on the labor day weekend. I had a paper to write so no joy for me.

Talk to you all soon

Thursday, August 20, 2009

It's Time

Wow, I feel as though I have come full circle in these past 30 years. Everything that I have gone through has shaped who I am. I have no regrets just true lived, earned strength and resilience. I am whole and it is time.

To be continued....
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