Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Letting Go Phase 2- Forgiveness

Forgiveness is often times seen as the most difficult thing to do, especially when someone has betrayed your trust or hurt you emotionally. The disbelief that someone you love could mistreat you, is often times enough to make you dislike that person forever. But is it really?

Personally I find it hard to hate, and I find it even more emotionally tiring to allow someone to occupy my daily thoughts with negative memories. So it brings me to phase 2 in the quest to Letting Go. Forgiveness is not as hard as it seems. I am not saying by any means that you allow people into your life that you know will do harm, but I am saying that in order to move on you have to forgive them. Forgiveness is not about accepting a person's apology because if they are what I call "a relentless" person, chances are they will never apologize or when they do it was long overdue.

So forgiveness starts from within. Deciding to forgive someone can be very emotional. You can go from feeling as though you want revenge, to feeling unbelievably disappointed and finally to feeling sorry for them. But when you are at the place when you are ready to forgive someone you can simply say out loud in room with only you. "Person's name I forgive you". Once those words are uttered, you need not do anymore. You do not have to tell them that they have been forgiven (if you all are no longer speaking) nor do you have to share this accomplishment with those around you that knew of the wrong doing (unless you want too). Deciding to forgive someone is a personal experience. The forgiveness I am speaking of comes from deep within and is hard to surface if you are bottled down with hurt feelings. There is no time frame as to when you should forgive someone or to what extent. I personally know that in order to move forward you have to forgive.

Spirituality is very important to me. While I don't live a sin free life (no one is perfect). I do hold very close the notion that God is the creator and ruler of all things. Therefore it is pointless for me to punish someone for what I deem a sin, when God already has that on his agenda or not. Spending countless time hating someone or wishing them a rough life only makes you to grow old in spirit and become subdued in their mistreatment against you. So as we embark and embrace the start of a fresh tomorrow, remember forgive and forget. Do not allow past hurts to cloud your judgment of someone that may have been sent as a blessing. Also don't allow forgiveness to cloud your experiences, learn from them and move on and vow to never make the same mistake twice.

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