This weekend was gorgeous out. We'd just finished up the photo-shoot for the blog and had a little time to spare before it was off to visit Grandma, so we decided to go to the park.
On this particular day, when the emotions took me over, I was exhausted from the photo-shoot. I told her "We can go out, but mommy can't walk with you." I normally power walk behind her while she rides her bike. I said "This time I am just going to sit on the bench and watch you". She was so excited. She rode all around me, in laps, up and down, back and forth stopping to make new little friends. Probably the most freedom in our gated playground she's ever experienced. I felt tears in my eyes and a knot in my throat. {Here comes the violins} My daughter kept screaming, "Did you see me?, did you see me mommy?. I can do it, I can do it all by myself! " Then she jumped back on her "big" girl bike and sped off without any help. A tear trickled down my cheek. I remembered just months earlier we'd walked that same path, Dad holding on tightly to the back of the bike and me teasing her to not run me over as she steered recklessly in my direction. We'd all laugh and see how she was getting better each day and a little too big for her bike.
They would spend their summer trying to ride that bike and I loved to see them together. I secretly would remember my Daddy guiding the seat of my brother's old Huffy bike, as he taught me how to ride a two wheeler and before long he let go. It's something about when Dad let's go of the back of that bike.... it's like a part of childhood saying goodbye. Don't get me wrong it's not a bad thing at all. It is such a sense of freedom and accomplishment. As a parent you watch them go from riding a tricycle, to needing your help, to no longer needing your help, to riding all around....it's simply a stage in life. Your baby is growing up. In girls it seems harder to let them go with each step, or may be it's just me?
What ever the reason it is great to see how good she has gotten. For her birthday surprise last month she got her first "big"girl Huffy bike and she is so proud to show how she can do it "all by herself". Believe it or not it is already time to adjust the seat.
They grow up so fast. I know one day she won't jump in my arms when I pick her up from school and she won't wrap her arms around my neck to say "goodnight". I also know learning to ride the bike won't be the first time I cry. I'm sure she and Dad will find more ways to make me smile and get emotional. What I do know is that, the time spent with this child of mine is the best time I've ever spent on this earth. I also know I was tired that day, the simple thought of rising off the couch to go outside was exhausting, but I am so glad I did. We may get a few more warm days this fall and I have to let her put a few more miles on her bike. Next summer won't be the same. She is growing each and every day. I have to make it last. I have to remember what's more important. Someone once told me "this is not a dress rehearsal". It's your life, live it!
