Stop Spying

I find it interesting that when I was a compromising and forgiving woman, unsolicited advice about "How Not to be a Doormat" was handed out: "Girl, don't let that man walk all over you", or "A man will only do what you allow", these phrases and many more were screamed to the top of the "bitter woman hill" by so many people. "Cheerleaders" as I like to call them, had advice for just about everything. "Girl please, you are a good one" or my favorite "I wish I would....". You wish you would what? I always wanted to ask, but didn't, because I knew I would get the "sista girl neck roll" followed by a bunch of bull-ish.

Now the role is reversed many of these same women are either miserably married, or desperately seeking the acceptance of a man to make her his "wifey". I laugh now because the mistakes I made in my 20s I watch as people my age and older make and then some. Since I don't have the patience nor the time to raise a grown man, to be just that "A grown man" I cut those issues short. Now my forgiveness is earned and compromise goes both ways. But I find the advice I hear in discussion with my female counterpart is "well at least he is trying", or "most men wouldn't even bother". Oh really? Is that right? How is that your neck stopped rolling when you "fell in love" with "less than Mr.Perfect"?

The difference isn't that their man is any better or necessarily worse than the ones from the past, it's just that now they've suddenly fallen off the high horse and can't follow their own advice. Sometimes advice given isn't even worth tuning in. People secretly whisper and spy in on your life anticipating how they would act in every given situation. However, when they are no longer watching and have the starring role it suddenly becomes different. Women for some reason feel the need to play devils advocate on everyone's life but their own. The truth is, you never know how you will act in a situation until you are placed in that situation. I am sure some will argue that point because we all know our limits. But we also know there can be a thin line on compromise and when that line is crossed or even stepped on, our decision making can sometimes be swayed, especially if it is something or someone you truly desire.

Good thing for me, I have always been my own woman. I don't listen to what others have to say about people. I make my own judgments and follow my own mind. If you have people judging you or your lifestyle it may be time to step back and see how many eyes are spying on you. A watchful eye is usually beheld by someone or something plotting it's next move. Don't let people change the person that you are, if you are happy when you look in the mirror. Some people are better left playing "inspector gadget" or "secret agent" in their own lives and not others.

Get what I'm saying?