"Hey Ma Can I Please Slap Your A**"

I get approached by the most unsophisticated, rude, ignorant sons of bitches out there.  Yes I had to take it there. Usually I don't waste my writing on worthless situations, but this is a blog of things on my mind and this has definitely been on my mind.

First off let me give you a little background. I don't go out clubin at all. If I do it is generally 1-2 times a YEAR. Actually when I am in a club atmosphere the "iggies" (ignorant ghetto goofies) generally steer clear of me (I guess I got that I need you  to at least know how to greet me before we continue this convo) look, so don't bother approaching me. You would think the "iggies" would use this same notion in everyday life. WRONG! The iggies elevate to a whole new level. So I think what took me over the gat damn edge was this pass summer. Situation goes as such:

FYI Woman is me

Woman exits bus
Woman crosses street
Iggie sees woman coming
Iggie says, "you are the most beautiful creature I have seen"
Woman says, "thank you" (mistake #1)
Iggie says, "Can I get to know you" (or something to that nature)
Woman says, " no" (and keeps walking)
And so the ignorance begins
Woman walks down the street 
Iggie runs his stupid a** down the street yellin "Aaaaa, ma"
Iggie gets closer to woman
Iggie is directly behind woman
Woman moves where other people are standing
Iggie still approaches
Iggie says" Hey Ma can I please slap your a**"?
Street Vendor man intervenes and woman begins to tell iggie what a dumbass he is
Street Vendor man says "excuse me but keep walking son"
Iggie is moving on by now anyway
Woman turns to street vendor and says "thank you" (another big mistake)
Street Vendor man says "you think I can get your number"
Woman walks away shaking her head

Note here. Saying "thank you" is food for an iggie. Just roll your eyes and keep moving. But prepare yourself to be called all sorts of names.

But I get approached by, thugs, street vendors, married men (isn't odd but annoying still), men with unborn babies, uneducated, old men, men on bicycles, etc. It would be different if I had a balance of men that actually have potential, but I don't. I only get the deformed ones. So I officially mark today as : "Don't Talk to Me if You Can't Spell Your Name, Have Multiple "Baby Mamas", Have Not Seen the Inside of School Since 7th Grade, Your First Greet Starts with Aaaa Ma, Day"!

I digress!

Losing Control

I have noticed that when I am not in control of the activities going on in my life, I feel chaotic. I feel rushed, and overwhelmed. I am not a control freak, but I have learned in the past to only depend on me. Self dependence also means self reliance, which to me equals self control. I am in charge of my daily decisions, and actions.

Recently I have mastered the control of most of my emotions. I am a work in progress. Knowing this I have become more patient with the things I want in life.

When it comes to love we tend to reach and reach, even if what we are reaching for keeps stepping back. Get my drift? Well, sometimes stepping back ourselves is an even better way to get what we "deserve" instead of want. Ironically, when you are overwhelmed with emotions you can be blindsided by what appears to be what you think you want, and in actuality it is what you desire at the moment. Stepping back and allowing the circumstance to play out, often reveals that it was never good for you.

Not being in control of the aspects of love relationships has lead me to feel less chaotic, the exact opposite of the other pieces of my life. Without the chaos, you can see what you deserve. It's such a good feeling to be free. What is something you can let go of?

Letting Go Phase 3 “Finding Yourself”

Finding yourself through pain can be difficult. When we are hurt we internalize the pain and somehow view the person actions as a reflection of who we are. But in reality their behavior is what is wrong and not you as a person.

Children are placed in time out for their bad behavior, but as adults, people tend to believe that their actions don’t deserve punishment. More times than not they even justify their own bad behavior by belittling the other person. Ego, pride, self esteem, etc. all play a key role in how the guilty party reacts in a situation. It is simple to place the blame on the other person rather than admitting and apologizing for their wrong actions.

In a time of hurt and despair it is easy to absorb hurtful words and believe in some way you deserved to be mistreated. Although it is easier said than done, to move pass this stage of letting go, underneath all the pain is the truth. Find who you are and have always been and do not allow anyone to change that. If you are a kind, gentle, and caring person continue to be that person. Society tends to view loving people as weak, but it takes far more strength to be graceful and loving than it does to be cruel and malicious.

Do not worry about what others may think, because in the end you know the truth and that is what has to hold you together in order to move forward.