Food For Thought- Chivalry Better Still Exist

Chivalry: the knightly class of feudal times. The primary sense of the term in the European Middle Ages is “knights,” or “fully armed and mounted fighting men.” Thence the term came to mean the gallantry and honour expected of knights.

Lastly, the word came to be used in its general sense of “courtesy.”

If you as a woman feel that chivalry is non-existent, you will keep getting treated by men as if it is. The main word in this definition is "courtesy".  I don't know what creeps are being allowed to behave in a manner less than courteous, but I know from experience that Chivalry does still exist.

A man that doesn't take the time to hold the door for you or carry your things, probably shouldn't make it in the bedroom to hold your panties. If you demand respect you will get respect, or he will take a hike and those are the type of guys you want to keep moving anyway! 

Chivalry is not dead, people are just letting things slide that shouldn't. As the definition says, " the gallantry and honour expected of knights". You can't be my knight if you are letting doors fall on me while you push your way ahead of me. Stop settling.

Yep, I'm a handful!



Reference
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/chivalry

I Can't Sing A Note: But I've Been Singing My Heart Out

“Woman I beg your forgiveness

And I'll do whatever it takes

And may the Lord be my witness

Honey I never meant to treat you this way

Sugar your heart has been broken

But I could still see true love shine in your eyes

When every word has been spoken

Woman I'll love you for the rest of my life” -

By Kem - Universal Motown Records (2010) 

I absolutely love this song. I think I listen to it about 20 times a day. It is clearly an “I messed up, take me back” song. But the last few times I heard it, I listened to it from a different perspective. I started singing the song to myself. I mean looking in the mirror singing out loud with all my heart singing. Suddenly the words meant so much more. I started feeling like I was singing the “I messed up, give me another chance” directly to me.

Okay, you are probably thinking what is this girl talking about?? The song just got me to thinking about how bad a person feels when they are in a painful relationship with someone and all the emotional hurt they go through. Well I have been down that dark road and when I stepped back I just look and say, “it wasn’t worth it”. I must have been foolish to ever treat myself so wrong. Loving someone that doesn’t love back, giving your all and then your left feeling empty. You temporarily lose yourself. Well no more, it’s time for me. So I just sing to myself: “I’ll never hurt you again Girl I, I know you deserve a better man, Girl IIIIIIIIIII, I was a fool to ever let you down”

Oh a serious note, you really do let yourself down when you don’t allow happiness to outweigh the rough times. Though there is pain and heartache, I am still a believer in true love. One day I will have stars in my eyes again. So again, I’ll never allow myself to hurt like that again.

I know, this is a weird way to listen to a song, but the words carry a strong meaning to me and I interpret things differently. Most people would envision a man singing it to a woman, but trying singing it to YOU and hear the meaning behind the words. We can hurt ourselves more than any individual and just like we forgive others, we also must forgive ourselves. I hope you can find a different meaning in the songs you love. God knows I can't sing, but I've been singing my heart out. What can I say, it makes me happy!

Letting Go Phase 3 “Finding Yourself”

Finding yourself through pain can be difficult. When we are hurt we internalize the pain and somehow view the person actions as a reflection of who we are. But in reality their behavior is what is wrong and not you as a person.

Children are placed in time out for their bad behavior, but as adults, people tend to believe that their actions don’t deserve punishment. More times than not they even justify their own bad behavior by belittling the other person. Ego, pride, self esteem, etc. all play a key role in how the guilty party reacts in a situation. It is simple to place the blame on the other person rather than admitting and apologizing for their wrong actions.

In a time of hurt and despair it is easy to absorb hurtful words and believe in some way you deserved to be mistreated. Although it is easier said than done, to move pass this stage of letting go, underneath all the pain is the truth. Find who you are and have always been and do not allow anyone to change that. If you are a kind, gentle, and caring person continue to be that person. Society tends to view loving people as weak, but it takes far more strength to be graceful and loving than it does to be cruel and malicious.

Do not worry about what others may think, because in the end you know the truth and that is what has to hold you together in order to move forward.