Food For Thought- Give Me Back My Heart?

Is there a hole in my heart, or does it just feel like something will forever be missing?

Has anyone ever felt this way? A lost love that got a way, a breakup that never healed, the loss of a loved one, etc.  Does your heart ever become whole again? What do you all think?

Letting Go!- Repost 10/17/2009

Sometimes we are so hurt and torn down we don't  realize the extra pain that we cause ourselves by allowing old wounds to remain unhealed. I think the first step in completely healing a wound is realizing that it is there! It's easy to cover scars with bandages and never acknowledge that they exist.

Hurting and healing is one of the most difficult task in self-help. The hardest aspect is allowing yourself to hurt. Often times we guard ourselves after heartache so that no one else or nothing else will hurt us again, With this wall, we not only block pain from coming in, we also block its' ability to escape, keeping it trapped in forever.

This year has been all about setting, achieving and exceeding goals I've made for myself. (Believe me the list is intense). I am down to the last few months of the year, and I can say I have successfully achieved most, if not all. Well late on the list I am adding "letting go". I will no longer hold the wall of protection that won't allow past pains to escape, instead I am breaking down each brick of the wall and allowing bad experiences, heartache, disappointment, etc. to find their way out (with some forced guidance of course).

With my new added task, I'll be even more mentally occupied than expected. But I am willing to block off some time in my schedule for some TLC for myself. This year my expectations have grown, my acceptance has become limited and I am anticipating the best that my new life has to offer.

I Can't Sing A Note: But I've Been Singing My Heart Out

“Woman I beg your forgiveness

And I'll do whatever it takes

And may the Lord be my witness

Honey I never meant to treat you this way

Sugar your heart has been broken

But I could still see true love shine in your eyes

When every word has been spoken

Woman I'll love you for the rest of my life” -

By Kem - Universal Motown Records (2010) 

I absolutely love this song. I think I listen to it about 20 times a day. It is clearly an “I messed up, take me back” song. But the last few times I heard it, I listened to it from a different perspective. I started singing the song to myself. I mean looking in the mirror singing out loud with all my heart singing. Suddenly the words meant so much more. I started feeling like I was singing the “I messed up, give me another chance” directly to me.

Okay, you are probably thinking what is this girl talking about?? The song just got me to thinking about how bad a person feels when they are in a painful relationship with someone and all the emotional hurt they go through. Well I have been down that dark road and when I stepped back I just look and say, “it wasn’t worth it”. I must have been foolish to ever treat myself so wrong. Loving someone that doesn’t love back, giving your all and then your left feeling empty. You temporarily lose yourself. Well no more, it’s time for me. So I just sing to myself: “I’ll never hurt you again Girl I, I know you deserve a better man, Girl IIIIIIIIIII, I was a fool to ever let you down”

Oh a serious note, you really do let yourself down when you don’t allow happiness to outweigh the rough times. Though there is pain and heartache, I am still a believer in true love. One day I will have stars in my eyes again. So again, I’ll never allow myself to hurt like that again.

I know, this is a weird way to listen to a song, but the words carry a strong meaning to me and I interpret things differently. Most people would envision a man singing it to a woman, but trying singing it to YOU and hear the meaning behind the words. We can hurt ourselves more than any individual and just like we forgive others, we also must forgive ourselves. I hope you can find a different meaning in the songs you love. God knows I can't sing, but I've been singing my heart out. What can I say, it makes me happy!

Xmas Wish List

On my wish list this year is a clear and full heart.

Food for Thought

Food for Thought #5 "Under the Surface"- More is less, too much isn't good enough, and the truth LIES beneath. Sometimes no matter what we do, our circumstances or those that are a special part of us lead us to believe we will never be good enough. When you've given all you can and are left empty, it can leave you in a state of confusion, embarrassment, and frustration. Love should never leave you feeling in that manner, if so it's time to reevaluate who you give your heart too.