Letting Go!- Repost 10/17/2009

Sometimes we are so hurt and torn down we don't  realize the extra pain that we cause ourselves by allowing old wounds to remain unhealed. I think the first step in completely healing a wound is realizing that it is there! It's easy to cover scars with bandages and never acknowledge that they exist.

Hurting and healing is one of the most difficult task in self-help. The hardest aspect is allowing yourself to hurt. Often times we guard ourselves after heartache so that no one else or nothing else will hurt us again, With this wall, we not only block pain from coming in, we also block its' ability to escape, keeping it trapped in forever.

This year has been all about setting, achieving and exceeding goals I've made for myself. (Believe me the list is intense). I am down to the last few months of the year, and I can say I have successfully achieved most, if not all. Well late on the list I am adding "letting go". I will no longer hold the wall of protection that won't allow past pains to escape, instead I am breaking down each brick of the wall and allowing bad experiences, heartache, disappointment, etc. to find their way out (with some forced guidance of course).

With my new added task, I'll be even more mentally occupied than expected. But I am willing to block off some time in my schedule for some TLC for myself. This year my expectations have grown, my acceptance has become limited and I am anticipating the best that my new life has to offer.

In His Hands

I need the strength of you to survive....

She remembers saying those words so softly as she tried desperately to feel her feet. What was going to happen to her? Who was going to hold, hug and carry her two year old if she couldn't even pick up a pencil. The nurses showed empathy, but no one could make it stop. The creepy evil in her body made its way up the left side and on to the right before the night would end. The doctors poked and tested with no good news. The best they could say was that it may or may not come back.

WHAT? How is that possible?

A deep prayer was sent above because if life had taught her anything, it was that only God could determine her destination. Life has the tendency to kick us in the ass when we least expect it and this was far from her to-do list, but she knew that God had a plan. A plan much greater than her.

She never dreamed in her young adult life that such devastation would haunt her seemingly sweet life.

Now it's time to fight and pray. Never give up, keep your head held high, and believe the lord will never leave you alone.

Music is such a deep part of my soul. I listened to Fly Like a Bird by Mariah Carey over and over. Sometimes I was speechless when His messages spoke to me. I just never give up. I can't explain the type of fighter that is within all of us. Put your trust in the lord and believe in yourself and all things are possible including, healing, success, happiness, and more.

God has blessed me and each day I try not to forget it. Blessed are those that believe their purpose and will is in His plan. Without much being said, I hope this blog entry encourages someone.

Have you survived? Are you surviving? Is your spirit healing others?
Please share.

to be continued...

What's In For 2010?

What are you doing this New Year's Eve?

This New Year's Eve I will be quietly celebrating and thanking God for helping me through a tough year. But looking back on things I accomplished more than a little this year and anxiously await whats to come with wide eyes. (Those that know me, know I always have a story to tell, LOL). Let's see what chapter I will write next year.

My wish for the New Year is simple. I want to embrace my future full force. The start of a New Year brings about a breath of fresh air, a chance to revive the aspects of your life you once thought passed on.

I wish you all a safe and happy 2010. May the new year bring answers to questions, light where there was hope, love where there was hate, and joy where there was pain.

See you next year.

Love Janelle