Are You Making a New Year's Resolution?

Wow, this year was a world wind for me. I have cried my eyes red and laughed my heart inside out. Last year I didn't make an actual resolution, because I know those always seem to fail. I did however, make a promise to myself. This is what I wrote on the blog last year 2009:

What are you doing this New Year's Eve?

This New Year's Eve I will be quietly celebrating and thanking God for helping me through a tough year. But looking back on things I accomplished more than a little this year and anxiously await whats to come with wide eyes. (Those that know me, know I always have a story to tell, LOL). Let's see what chapter I will write next year.

My wish for the New Year is simple. I want to embrace my future full force. The start of a New Year brings about a breath of fresh air, a chance to revive the aspects of your life you once thought passed on.

I wish you all a safe and happy 2010. May the new year bring answers to questions, light where there was hope, love where there was hate, and joy where there was pain.

The ending of last year was out right miserable for me. I was trying to get over a breakup, and pretending it didn't hurt. The truth was that I was literally dying inside. I spent months beating myself up and wondering what I did wrong, and what I needed to change. I fought the tears, because I just didn't want to acknowledge the hurt. But time passed and I forgave myself. 2010 started to look brighter. A friend pointed out that my smile returned. Not just my photo smile, but the happiness and radiance from my heart began to shine through once again. Now that I've conquered 2010, its on for 2011. I have never been more excited about starting a new year than now. I can feel deep down inside great things about to happen around me. I have goals set for myself and dreams that will play out. I am sure there will be obstacles, but nothing I am not prepared to face. 

I wish for myself the following (these are not resolutions because I am working at them now):

1. Continuing to honor my morals and beliefs despite how others may view me
2. Always wanting to be a better mother, daughter, sister, and friend
3. Devoting more time with my family
4. Continuing to share my love with others, despite past hurts and disappointments 
5. Not letting anyone change my heart and good intentions
6. Blocking out negativeness from all sources
7. Finishing grad school with at least a 3.7 G.P.A
8. Getting 2 steps closer to financial independence
9. Devoting more time to my writings
10. Exercising patience for things that are worth the wait
11. Exhaling nonsense that causes unnecessary hurt
12. Mingling with other fellow bloggers (feel free to leave your link or email)
13. Attend at least one blog or writers conference in 2011
14. Take a mini vacation
15. Make myself a pair of earrings (so important to me)

Life has been good to me. I have some horror stories to tell, but I wouldn't change those experience because they molded me into the strong woman that I am. I can spot some ish a mile away. As much as I say I'm not gonna tolerate nonsense, people continue to cross me. It isn't much for me to filter it and keep moving.

I am proud of my daughter and wish her continued love and blessings. Our family and friends continue to keep us close. I pray my family continues to grow closer and happier, I am loving my new found relationships with each of you.

To my small circle of friends, you all are still here despite it all. May I watch my girlfriends get married and start their families, may new babies that bless our lives be raised with all our hearts, may I continue to lean on you for your unbiased opinions, may you continue to share your highs and lows with me. We will cry together in happiness and sadness, and smile so bright in 2011. Family and friends, I love you all.

Someone wrote a list of achievable goals for me back in July and unknowingly to them, I view them monthly as a reminder. I think it was one of the most productive conversations I've had. If you take one piece of advice from me in 2010, it will be to write a list of 3 things you want to achieve in your life, that list made such a difference on attainable goals.

To my devoted followers and readers, I wish you all happiness and success in 2011. Let's keep our lines of communication open. Add me on Facebook, or email me at brownmindbeauty@gmail.com if you need advice, inspiration, or just want to talk. I love conversation and I love you guys. Each time I get a comment or new follower, my world lights up. I never imagined my words would mean so much to people. The other day a Facebook friend encouraged me to keep up the good work, because it inspires her. WOW, I love it.

From my family to yours, have a safe and Happy New Year!

Looking Back! New Year, New Giveaway!

 2010 has been a world wind for me. Several highs and some low lows, but overall it has been a good year. There were some things that kept me going and some things that tried to stop me dead in my track. I laughed and cried very hard this year. But now it must come to an end.

I am a lover of jewelry and for my 2nd and last giveway of 2010, I wanted to do something special. One lucky winner will win the necklace and jewelry set below. (Two pictures to show the detailing, but only one set will be given away).

The rules are as follows:

The rules are simple. Each comment should be written underneath this blog post describing how you entered. There are several ways to increase your chances of winning.

1. You must be a follower of Mind of a Brown Skin Beauty (Mandatory Entry)
2. You must comment below this post something you are going to change or keep for the new year  (1 entry)
3. Subscribe via email and confirm your email address (3 entries)
4. Share this blog post giveaway with someone on Facebook, Blogger, Twitter, email, etc.(Please leave your facebook, twitter, link to the blog post under the comment section , 2 entries)
5. Like my Facebook page "Mind of a Brown Skin Beauty" (3 entries)
6. Follow me on Twitter @brownmindbeauty

Enter as many times as you like to increase your odd. A winner will be selected at random using random.org

The contest will begin on 12/21/10 at 12 a.m CST and will end on 1/9/11 at 10 p.m. CST. The winner will be randomly selected through a computerized process and will be announced on 1/12/11.  Please visit the blog at that time for the name of the winner. The winner will be given instructions on how to claim their prize, a valid email address is required. If the prize is not claimed within 7 days a new winner will be selected and so forth until the prize is claimed. All products are brand new, never opened or used and are the sole responsibility of the winner. Directions for product use should be followed according to the company's instructions.

Good Luck to everyone!

How Will You Be Remembered?

We all want to leave a mark in this world. Some people are remembered for their courage and ability to stand up for what is right such as the great Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.. Others are talented beyond words and leave the world wanting more long after they are gone as we see with the legendary Michael Jackson.

People tell me that I tend to absorb the problems of others and try to help in situations that are deemed "helpless". For that reason, I use to question my ability to go the extra mile and console a friend or help a loved one regardless of how many times they were in need. Those around me could not understand my compassion and accepting nature to bring in a friend that once turned their back on me, but now required a shoulder. I questioned my own sanity in some cases,but I knew I was right in my willingness to forgive.

There has always been something deep inside that speaks to me. The comforting whispers in my heart, tell me that God has sent that person to me. In the will of doing right in the eyes of God, I help, I comfort, I console. I do what I'm told. I worry no more how others view my nature to nurture, I just do!

So I sit and ponder. How do I want to be remembered?

When someone speaks of my life after I am long gone, I want to be remembered as the woman that smiled for absolutely no reason at all and joked to make an uncomfortable situation easier. But most importantly I want to be remembered as the woman that took away a problem from someone, absorbed the hurt of another, and through her heart loved glowed.

How will you be remembered?

Good Beat Down!!!

It is said that anything worth having is worth fighting for, but if what you're fighting for keeps fighting against you, sometimes it is best emotionally, to throw in the gloves. Call it failure, quitting, losing or what you may. I call it knowing when to walk away before you end up an emotionally beaten mess.

In relationships we often extend ourselves beyond what is psychologically healthy to love another person. What keeps this never winning match of emotional low blows, and spiritual upper cuts going is the inability to realize you can't fight a love battle alone. The other person has to be willing to work just as hard to win and if not, you will just keep hitting the wall.

There is no room for "in- between" in a fight. You either go at with the spirit and hustle to win, or you sit back on the sideline and watch while your mate swings in mid air and LOVE beats them down. Personally my heart can only take so much. I'm a fighter to the end. I am loyal and courageous. For love, I've gone through some of the most difficult times, only to come out and realize I was getting my butt kicked by LOVE while the other person chilled in passive mode.

You know how it left me feeling? Like someone literally stepped on my chest while I was on the ground and spit in my face as LOVE walked away.

You know what I learned? That if a person isn't willing to struggle for themselves or the relationship, it isn't worth it. Now I know my limitation and what I will and will not do for love. I can toss in the towel and be okay with that decision because I'd rather forfeit than keep at something that is continuous hurt. In a loving relationship you are supposed to be a team. At times, one team mate may have to pull more weight, but in the end you should feel victorious together, not defeated and alone.

So you've proven you can stand the worse of times, weather the storm, and love them when they're down, you're a Winner, right?  Maybe and maybe not. Do you know your limits? What's the final punch for you before calling it a TKO?

Letting Go!- Repost 10/17/2009

Sometimes we are so hurt and torn down we don't  realize the extra pain that we cause ourselves by allowing old wounds to remain unhealed. I think the first step in completely healing a wound is realizing that it is there! It's easy to cover scars with bandages and never acknowledge that they exist.

Hurting and healing is one of the most difficult task in self-help. The hardest aspect is allowing yourself to hurt. Often times we guard ourselves after heartache so that no one else or nothing else will hurt us again, With this wall, we not only block pain from coming in, we also block its' ability to escape, keeping it trapped in forever.

This year has been all about setting, achieving and exceeding goals I've made for myself. (Believe me the list is intense). I am down to the last few months of the year, and I can say I have successfully achieved most, if not all. Well late on the list I am adding "letting go". I will no longer hold the wall of protection that won't allow past pains to escape, instead I am breaking down each brick of the wall and allowing bad experiences, heartache, disappointment, etc. to find their way out (with some forced guidance of course).

With my new added task, I'll be even more mentally occupied than expected. But I am willing to block off some time in my schedule for some TLC for myself. This year my expectations have grown, my acceptance has become limited and I am anticipating the best that my new life has to offer.

She Fell in Love….With Books?

www.scholastic.com/bookclubs

My child loves to read.  When I say LOVES, I mean she loves it. I have to turn the lights off on her at bedtime, because if I don’t I swear she would read until the sun comes up. I remember I was the same way as a kid. 

I still love to read, but with my busy schedule who has time. I remember last year on my blog I posted I would read 1 book a month, well that didn’t work. I mean seriously, with my school work and now her schoolwork load; I cannot find a moment to myself. I have accepted the fact that I will not officially slow down until sometime next fall after graduation. I digress.

Her love for reading makes me smile from ear to ear. She sits and laughs out loud at funny parts in the story and comes to tell me what happened. It is the best feeling to see a child so entertained by words. With that being said I have been buying her a new book every two weeks, but she reads them in a day. Surly I cannot keep up with that pace. So I wanted to share a budgeting tip I have used before. In addition to the library of course, I shop The “Goodwill”, yep your heard me correctly. They have gently used and brand new books for less than 75 cents!!! Yes, can you believe it? I have been getting books from there for about 2 years now and I have never spent over 5 bucks. So we may leave with 10-12 books and she is so excited. 

Now since school has started back, her classroom offers Scholastic books for parents to purchase online. At her previous school the online option was not available to us. The books are cheaper than the bookstore and when ordering online there are special discounted books not shown in the brochure. In addition to cheaper prices for your wallet, your purchase also helps the class receive a free book. “Your child's class gets a FREE Book every time you send your teacher your order online” (http://www2.scholastic.com/browse/home.jsp). So imagine if every parent placed an order. That creates a wonderful library for your child’s classroom. 

These books are great also. Last night I spent $17 books for 7 books, no tax and no shipping. Remember one book can cost you about $5.99 and up.  So that is a deal. The books are categorized by reading ability and grade level. I look through a grade above and 2 grades above her actual grade in school.  I want her to continue to enjoy the books so I get the simpler ones for her pleasure and the grade above that to continue to challenge her vocabulary. Seems to work for her, it may not work for everyone. You have buy according to your child’s ability, don’t force them because if it is too difficult they will get discouraged.  She is currently into the Junie B series. Here is a list of what I got.

Charlotte's Web $2.00

Junie B., First Grader: Cheater Pants $4.00

The Best School Year Ever $1.00

The Best Halloween Ever $3.00

A to Z Mysteries®: The Absent Author $2.00

Fudge-a-Mania $1.00

Toy Story 3: The Junior Novelization $4.00

As you can see some books were only $1.The website is very nice. There is even a section strictly for kids, with printable and activities. If your school does not participate in the ability to order online, the website offers a letter you can send to the teacher. 

Please check out the website for more great deals www.scholastic.com/bookclubs

My Hopes for the Future

I have been contemplating my wants over the past week. I have never focused on what is that I want in life. I have always focused on making sure others around me were happy and taken care of. But these last few years have taught me that it is more important to take care of myself first in order to take care of others.

My hopes for the future are simple, yet so complicated. I want to be happy. Truly happy. I don't need riches or material things to accomplish this I just need to tune the channel on ME. I have never been selfish before, so I can't wait to see what it feels like.