Food For Thought- Chivalry Better Still Exist

Chivalry: the knightly class of feudal times. The primary sense of the term in the European Middle Ages is “knights,” or “fully armed and mounted fighting men.” Thence the term came to mean the gallantry and honour expected of knights.

Lastly, the word came to be used in its general sense of “courtesy.”

If you as a woman feel that chivalry is non-existent, you will keep getting treated by men as if it is. The main word in this definition is "courtesy".  I don't know what creeps are being allowed to behave in a manner less than courteous, but I know from experience that Chivalry does still exist.

A man that doesn't take the time to hold the door for you or carry your things, probably shouldn't make it in the bedroom to hold your panties. If you demand respect you will get respect, or he will take a hike and those are the type of guys you want to keep moving anyway! 

Chivalry is not dead, people are just letting things slide that shouldn't. As the definition says, " the gallantry and honour expected of knights". You can't be my knight if you are letting doors fall on me while you push your way ahead of me. Stop settling.

Yep, I'm a handful!



Reference
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/chivalry

Stop Spying

I find it interesting that when I was a compromising and forgiving woman, unsolicited advice about "How Not to be a Doormat" was handed out: "Girl, don't let that man walk all over you", or "A man will only do what you allow", these phrases and many more were screamed to the top of the "bitter woman hill" by so many people. "Cheerleaders" as I like to call them, had advice for just about everything. "Girl please, you are a good one" or my favorite "I wish I would....". You wish you would what? I always wanted to ask, but didn't, because I knew I would get the "sista girl neck roll" followed by a bunch of bull-ish.

Now the role is reversed many of these same women are either miserably married, or desperately seeking the acceptance of a man to make her his "wifey". I laugh now because the mistakes I made in my 20s I watch as people my age and older make and then some. Since I don't have the patience nor the time to raise a grown man, to be just that "A grown man" I cut those issues short. Now my forgiveness is earned and compromise goes both ways. But I find the advice I hear in discussion with my female counterpart is "well at least he is trying", or "most men wouldn't even bother". Oh really? Is that right? How is that your neck stopped rolling when you "fell in love" with "less than Mr.Perfect"?

The difference isn't that their man is any better or necessarily worse than the ones from the past, it's just that now they've suddenly fallen off the high horse and can't follow their own advice. Sometimes advice given isn't even worth tuning in. People secretly whisper and spy in on your life anticipating how they would act in every given situation. However, when they are no longer watching and have the starring role it suddenly becomes different. Women for some reason feel the need to play devils advocate on everyone's life but their own. The truth is, you never know how you will act in a situation until you are placed in that situation. I am sure some will argue that point because we all know our limits. But we also know there can be a thin line on compromise and when that line is crossed or even stepped on, our decision making can sometimes be swayed, especially if it is something or someone you truly desire.

Good thing for me, I have always been my own woman. I don't listen to what others have to say about people. I make my own judgments and follow my own mind. If you have people judging you or your lifestyle it may be time to step back and see how many eyes are spying on you. A watchful eye is usually beheld by someone or something plotting it's next move. Don't let people change the person that you are, if you are happy when you look in the mirror. Some people are better left playing "inspector gadget" or "secret agent" in their own lives and not others.

Get what I'm saying?

Food for Thought- Baby I Deserve

You deserve to be with someone that doesn't have to hope and cross his fingers that one day he'll  possibly, maybe, probably fall in love with you.

Food For Thought- Give Me Back My Heart?

Is there a hole in my heart, or does it just feel like something will forever be missing?

Has anyone ever felt this way? A lost love that got a way, a breakup that never healed, the loss of a loved one, etc.  Does your heart ever become whole again? What do you all think?

Introducing Food For Thought Thanksgiving Series

Morning Loves,

I have decided that with the holidays fast approaching and this year is coming to a close, I have so much on my mind. This past year has been a whirlwind of sorts for me. Many highs and some very low lows. I will be bringing you a Food For Thought each day before Thanksgiving. Please chime in and feel free to express yourself.

It's Veterans Day!

A large portion of my 9-5 consists of assisting Veterans with using their VA Educational benefits to attend college.  Even without the direct daily contact of Veterans, they house a great deal of warmth and respect in my heart. I have family and close friends that have served and are serving in the U.S. military. 

I can hear the line in the Marvin Gaye Song “What’s Going On”, the words simply said: “You see, war is not the answer, for only love can conquer hate”. I remember I was so young and small when I heard this song, I didn’t understand what they were singing about; I just knew it made me sad. My mother was listening to it and I remember her telling me what it meant, and as a child it was scary more than anything. 

Fast forward to the present and I listen to this song several times a week. For those that don’t know, Marvin Gaye is a huge inspiration in my writings. I toss in his CD in the mornings and zone out on my way to work. 

This particular song and “Make Me Wanna Holla” captured the very explicit reality of the economy, emotional spirit, and downward effects of the war. Many say that Marvin Gaye expressed himself in a way that was well ahead of his time. People weren’t ready for the truths he let flow across the airways.

Afraid isn’t the emotion I feel anymore when I hear these songs. I am moved beyond emotions when I hear how songs created decades ago can still speak so clearly to the issues in the world NOW. It definitely “make me wanna holla” to ask for an answer to “What’s going on”? 

Today is Veterans Day, a day to honor those that have served and who are continuing to serve to protect our country. While we pay respect and say “Thank you” let’s not forget some hard statistics. 

Did you know?

“Although flawless counts are impossible to come by – the transient nature of homeless populations presents a major difficulty – VA estimates that 107,000 veterans are homeless on any given night. Over the course of a year, approximately twice that many experience homelessness. Only eight percent of the general population can claim veteran status, but nearly one-fifth of the homeless population are veterans, (National Coalition of Homeless Veterans, 2010.

Did you also know?

“According to the 2008 Annual Homeless Assessment Report to Congress, more than 135,000 adults who served in the armed forces were homeless in a shelter at some point between October 2007 and September 2008, the majority residing in emergency rather than transitional shelters”, (U.S. Department of Veterans Affair, The National Center on Homelessness Among Veterans, 2010) .

And were you aware?

“Roughly 56 percent of all homeless veterans are African American or Hispanic, despite only accounting for 12.8 percent and 15.4 percent of the U.S. population respectively.

About 1.5 million other veterans, meanwhile, are considered at risk of homelessness due to poverty, lack of support networks, and dismal living conditions in overcrowded or substandard housing”, (National Coalition of Homeless Veterans, 2010).  

As we struggle through our own issues of the current economical hardship we face on a daily, remember those that fight for us, yet may have less or in some case return home to nothing. So if nothing else say thank you, “like” a friend’s Vet related Facebook status update, or Retweet a positive Veterans Day comment on Twitter. Many of these unsung heroes just need to be acknowledged.  Stay encouraged and be blessed! 

Never heard the songs listen below. 

References:

The National Coalition for Homeless Veterans (NCHV) Background & Statistics. Retrieved November 11, 2010, from http://www.nchv.org/background.cfm#facts

 

U.S. Department of Veterans Affair, The National Center on Homelessness Among Veterans, Retrieved. November 11, 2010, from http://www1.va.gov/HOMELESS/NationalCenter_Mission.asp

Educational Field Trips On Your Own

Do any of the moms out there take field trips with the kids on the weekends?

My daughter and I go on field trips often and each time I try to make them a learning experience. Well this weekend was a trip to the Museum of Science and Industry.

She has been begging to go to the museum for months. I bought a membership a couple of months ago. The trips are also a time for us to bond and talk about...well, girl stuff. The museum is great, way more exciting than when I was a kid. We got a lesson in fashion, just see below:

How would you feel about having a piece of clothing you change into something different with a blow dryer? Interesting, huh?

She is big on science and this was the perfect place to talk about things. Read about different subjects and ask questions up front. She didn't have too many questions about this one, surprisingly. I think there was a motion machine in the distance that grabbed her attention.

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Our time was short there, which I planned it that way. I figured two hours in a museum was more than enough to get the curiosity settled and knowledge thriving. On our way to the exit we ran into the hospital exhibit. It was a place where participants could interact in a hospital like setting and work on "iStan". iStan is the life like dummy that has real medical conditions the objective is try to diagnose iStan's medical problem. Participants ages 12 and older get to interact in this experience. My little one was too young to participate, but considering she wants to be a Neurologist (Brain Doctor as she says) she was mesmerized.

We are definitely planning at least two more trips before the year ends. Under my membership we can go as many times as we want and the best thing is that everything is FREE!! There was a Jim Henson exhibit, Christmas Around the World and Holidays of Light, and many many more.  I almost forgot that I purchased my membership as a Groupon. So I got a fabulous deal.