Are You Making a New Year's Resolution?

Wow, this year was a world wind for me. I have cried my eyes red and laughed my heart inside out. Last year I didn't make an actual resolution, because I know those always seem to fail. I did however, make a promise to myself. This is what I wrote on the blog last year 2009:

What are you doing this New Year's Eve?

This New Year's Eve I will be quietly celebrating and thanking God for helping me through a tough year. But looking back on things I accomplished more than a little this year and anxiously await whats to come with wide eyes. (Those that know me, know I always have a story to tell, LOL). Let's see what chapter I will write next year.

My wish for the New Year is simple. I want to embrace my future full force. The start of a New Year brings about a breath of fresh air, a chance to revive the aspects of your life you once thought passed on.

I wish you all a safe and happy 2010. May the new year bring answers to questions, light where there was hope, love where there was hate, and joy where there was pain.

The ending of last year was out right miserable for me. I was trying to get over a breakup, and pretending it didn't hurt. The truth was that I was literally dying inside. I spent months beating myself up and wondering what I did wrong, and what I needed to change. I fought the tears, because I just didn't want to acknowledge the hurt. But time passed and I forgave myself. 2010 started to look brighter. A friend pointed out that my smile returned. Not just my photo smile, but the happiness and radiance from my heart began to shine through once again. Now that I've conquered 2010, its on for 2011. I have never been more excited about starting a new year than now. I can feel deep down inside great things about to happen around me. I have goals set for myself and dreams that will play out. I am sure there will be obstacles, but nothing I am not prepared to face. 

I wish for myself the following (these are not resolutions because I am working at them now):

1. Continuing to honor my morals and beliefs despite how others may view me
2. Always wanting to be a better mother, daughter, sister, and friend
3. Devoting more time with my family
4. Continuing to share my love with others, despite past hurts and disappointments 
5. Not letting anyone change my heart and good intentions
6. Blocking out negativeness from all sources
7. Finishing grad school with at least a 3.7 G.P.A
8. Getting 2 steps closer to financial independence
9. Devoting more time to my writings
10. Exercising patience for things that are worth the wait
11. Exhaling nonsense that causes unnecessary hurt
12. Mingling with other fellow bloggers (feel free to leave your link or email)
13. Attend at least one blog or writers conference in 2011
14. Take a mini vacation
15. Make myself a pair of earrings (so important to me)

Life has been good to me. I have some horror stories to tell, but I wouldn't change those experience because they molded me into the strong woman that I am. I can spot some ish a mile away. As much as I say I'm not gonna tolerate nonsense, people continue to cross me. It isn't much for me to filter it and keep moving.

I am proud of my daughter and wish her continued love and blessings. Our family and friends continue to keep us close. I pray my family continues to grow closer and happier, I am loving my new found relationships with each of you.

To my small circle of friends, you all are still here despite it all. May I watch my girlfriends get married and start their families, may new babies that bless our lives be raised with all our hearts, may I continue to lean on you for your unbiased opinions, may you continue to share your highs and lows with me. We will cry together in happiness and sadness, and smile so bright in 2011. Family and friends, I love you all.

Someone wrote a list of achievable goals for me back in July and unknowingly to them, I view them monthly as a reminder. I think it was one of the most productive conversations I've had. If you take one piece of advice from me in 2010, it will be to write a list of 3 things you want to achieve in your life, that list made such a difference on attainable goals.

To my devoted followers and readers, I wish you all happiness and success in 2011. Let's keep our lines of communication open. Add me on Facebook, or email me at brownmindbeauty@gmail.com if you need advice, inspiration, or just want to talk. I love conversation and I love you guys. Each time I get a comment or new follower, my world lights up. I never imagined my words would mean so much to people. The other day a Facebook friend encouraged me to keep up the good work, because it inspires her. WOW, I love it.

From my family to yours, have a safe and Happy New Year!

Looking Back! New Year, New Giveaway!

 2010 has been a world wind for me. Several highs and some low lows, but overall it has been a good year. There were some things that kept me going and some things that tried to stop me dead in my track. I laughed and cried very hard this year. But now it must come to an end.

I am a lover of jewelry and for my 2nd and last giveway of 2010, I wanted to do something special. One lucky winner will win the necklace and jewelry set below. (Two pictures to show the detailing, but only one set will be given away).

The rules are as follows:

The rules are simple. Each comment should be written underneath this blog post describing how you entered. There are several ways to increase your chances of winning.

1. You must be a follower of Mind of a Brown Skin Beauty (Mandatory Entry)
2. You must comment below this post something you are going to change or keep for the new year  (1 entry)
3. Subscribe via email and confirm your email address (3 entries)
4. Share this blog post giveaway with someone on Facebook, Blogger, Twitter, email, etc.(Please leave your facebook, twitter, link to the blog post under the comment section , 2 entries)
5. Like my Facebook page "Mind of a Brown Skin Beauty" (3 entries)
6. Follow me on Twitter @brownmindbeauty

Enter as many times as you like to increase your odd. A winner will be selected at random using random.org

The contest will begin on 12/21/10 at 12 a.m CST and will end on 1/9/11 at 10 p.m. CST. The winner will be randomly selected through a computerized process and will be announced on 1/12/11.  Please visit the blog at that time for the name of the winner. The winner will be given instructions on how to claim their prize, a valid email address is required. If the prize is not claimed within 7 days a new winner will be selected and so forth until the prize is claimed. All products are brand new, never opened or used and are the sole responsibility of the winner. Directions for product use should be followed according to the company's instructions.

Good Luck to everyone!

It's Crunch Time

Hi All,

I haven't had a chance to bring you anything new and exciting. I am in finals for the next two weeks, then on to Christmas break. This is definitely crunch time for me. Those that have been following me from the start know that I am in my second year of Grad school. Currently my class is fairly easy, but I have a team research project due next week! So I have to focus. I will see you all very soon! Happy Wednesday and welcome to my new followers. 

From My Journal of Poetry- "Foolish Me"

Foolish Me

Written 2005

By Janelle Wade

                        

How could I ever believe you were in love?

Physically hurting, emotionally driving me insane

I should have know better than to believe the lies

Never imagined I’d be sitting here in so much pain

Foolish me to trust someone so selfish

I know that you ran to her each night

You should know better than to think I would never find out

Whatever you do in the dark creeps out in the light

Foolish me to believe that you would be true

You got me thinking crazy thoughts

I’m laying here wishing you would never come back

Contemplating what is left for me to do

We haven’t touched in what seems like years

You lay next to me sleeping silently

Thoughts are filled with pain

With eyes filled with tears

Deep down I want to hold you close and never let go

Imagining you kissing her lips and making love to her

Now I’m thinking crazy wishing the worse for you

Foolish me to let you look at me and tell so many lies

The only reason you stay

Loving the magic between my thighs

It hurts to know love has gone

But I have to question if I ever loved you before

I was lying to myself because I didn’t have a choice

I didn’t believe I deserved more

I can’t sleep at night feeling all alone

It’s tearing my heart in little pieces

You leave only to return with an empty kiss

What has us at this point…longing for you is what I miss

To many things happened to soon and too fast

There was no way we were strong enough to last

Yeah, I thought you were the one

Foolish me to let my heart give in

With you there is no way I’ll ever win

There is no contract in love

Everyone is allowed to change

But I keep laying here trying to make you come home

In reality you left me all alone

Foolish me to trust someone so selfish

I know that you ran to her each night

You should know better than to think I would never find out

Whatever you do in the dark creeps out in the light

Finally I can give in and let her take my spot

One day I woke up and now I just can’t care

I didn’t know how foolish I was

So I’m leaving and “I love you” not

It’s not so hard to close the door

Watch as I walk away

On to someone that will love me more

I have to leave you alone

No more lies, no more coming in late

I’m tired of arguing I am done

Please don’t bother calling me on the phone

It’s turned off like my heart

The key you no longer have

Everything in me screamed you were wrong from the start

So I’m leaving and never looking back

With my bags packed and on my way

Sigh of relieve as I look forward to a brighter day

The only one I have now is myself and I

Foolish me because it took me this long to say goodbye

By Janelle Wade

                        

How could I ever believe you were in love?

Physically hurting, emotionally driving me insane

I should have know better than to believe the lies

Never imagined I’d be sitting here in so much pain

Foolish me to trust someone so selfish

I know that you ran to her each night

You should know better than to think I would never find out

Whatever you do in the dark creeps out in the light

Foolish me to believe that you would be true

You got me thinking crazy thoughts

I’m laying here wishing you would never come back

Contemplating what is left for me to do

We haven’t touched in what seems like years

You lay next to me sleeping silently

Thoughts are filled with pain

With eyes filled with tears

Deep down I want to hold you close and never let go

Imagining you kissing her lips and making love to her

Now I’m thinking crazy wishing the worse for you

Foolish me to let you look at me and tell so many lies

The only reason you stay

Loving the magic between my thighs

It hurts to know love has gone

But I have to question if I ever loved you before

I was lying to myself because I didn’t have a choice

I didn’t believe I deserved more

I can’t sleep at night feeling all alone

It’s tearing my heart in little pieces

You leave only to return with an empty kiss

What has us at this point…longing for you is what I miss

To many things happened to soon and too fast

There was no way we were strong enough to last

Yeah, I thought you were the one

Foolish me to let my heart give in

With you there is no way I’ll ever win

There is no contract in love

Everyone is allowed to change

But I keep laying here trying to make you come home

In reality you left me all alone

Foolish me to trust someone so selfish

I know that you ran to her each night

You should know better than to think I would never find out

Whatever you do in the dark creeps out in the light

Finally I can give in and let her take my spot

One day I woke up and now I just can’t care

I didn’t know how foolish I was

So I’m leaving and “I love you” not

It’s not so hard to close the door

Watch as I walk away

On to someone that will love me more

I have to leave you alone

No more lies, no more coming in late

I’m tired of arguing I am done

Please don’t bother calling me on the phone

It’s turned off like my heart

The key you no longer have

Everything in me screamed you were wrong from the start

So I’m leaving and never looking back

With my bags packed and on my way

Sigh of relieve as I look forward to a brighter day

The only one I have now is myself and I

Foolish me because it took me this long to say goodbye

How Will You Be Remembered?

We all want to leave a mark in this world. Some people are remembered for their courage and ability to stand up for what is right such as the great Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.. Others are talented beyond words and leave the world wanting more long after they are gone as we see with the legendary Michael Jackson.

People tell me that I tend to absorb the problems of others and try to help in situations that are deemed "helpless". For that reason, I use to question my ability to go the extra mile and console a friend or help a loved one regardless of how many times they were in need. Those around me could not understand my compassion and accepting nature to bring in a friend that once turned their back on me, but now required a shoulder. I questioned my own sanity in some cases,but I knew I was right in my willingness to forgive.

There has always been something deep inside that speaks to me. The comforting whispers in my heart, tell me that God has sent that person to me. In the will of doing right in the eyes of God, I help, I comfort, I console. I do what I'm told. I worry no more how others view my nature to nurture, I just do!

So I sit and ponder. How do I want to be remembered?

When someone speaks of my life after I am long gone, I want to be remembered as the woman that smiled for absolutely no reason at all and joked to make an uncomfortable situation easier. But most importantly I want to be remembered as the woman that took away a problem from someone, absorbed the hurt of another, and through her heart loved glowed.

How will you be remembered?

Good Beat Down!!!

It is said that anything worth having is worth fighting for, but if what you're fighting for keeps fighting against you, sometimes it is best emotionally, to throw in the gloves. Call it failure, quitting, losing or what you may. I call it knowing when to walk away before you end up an emotionally beaten mess.

In relationships we often extend ourselves beyond what is psychologically healthy to love another person. What keeps this never winning match of emotional low blows, and spiritual upper cuts going is the inability to realize you can't fight a love battle alone. The other person has to be willing to work just as hard to win and if not, you will just keep hitting the wall.

There is no room for "in- between" in a fight. You either go at with the spirit and hustle to win, or you sit back on the sideline and watch while your mate swings in mid air and LOVE beats them down. Personally my heart can only take so much. I'm a fighter to the end. I am loyal and courageous. For love, I've gone through some of the most difficult times, only to come out and realize I was getting my butt kicked by LOVE while the other person chilled in passive mode.

You know how it left me feeling? Like someone literally stepped on my chest while I was on the ground and spit in my face as LOVE walked away.

You know what I learned? That if a person isn't willing to struggle for themselves or the relationship, it isn't worth it. Now I know my limitation and what I will and will not do for love. I can toss in the towel and be okay with that decision because I'd rather forfeit than keep at something that is continuous hurt. In a loving relationship you are supposed to be a team. At times, one team mate may have to pull more weight, but in the end you should feel victorious together, not defeated and alone.

So you've proven you can stand the worse of times, weather the storm, and love them when they're down, you're a Winner, right?  Maybe and maybe not. Do you know your limits? What's the final punch for you before calling it a TKO?

World AIDS Day

It is reported that since June of 1981 an estimate 1.7 million people in the United States have been infected with HIV and more than 580,000 have died. There are several social and cultural aspects within society that must be addressed in order to increase prevention and early detection (CDC, 2009).

One main concern is racial/ ethnic disparities, in communities of color there is a need to increase programs for more education and prevention. It is also important that once a person becomes aware of their status they are provided with the proper counseling, testing and prevention services. Studies have shown that once a person becomes aware of a positive HIV status they are likely to decrease risk behavior and reduce transmission (Holtgrave et al, 2007).

Another way to increase prevention would be to provide people who are currently living with HIV the proper the care and treatment. Because there are so many Americans currently living with this disease funding needs to continue to be put forth towards programs that provide towards helping them maintain a normal lifestyle. Recent studies show that programs that are effective at improving the lifespan of a person living with HIV and earning less than 250% of the federal poverty level should be an entitlement because it could possibly reduce infection at the individual level (Holtgrave et al, 2007). Programs of this nature could definitely benefit single mothers.

Other prevention methods include breaking down barriers of the stigma associated with the disease. Many people still believe that it is a disease only for people that are drug users or homosexual and that people that become infected have lead a lifestyle to deserve them of this horrible disease. There still needs to be a public broadcast of education worldwide that ANYONE can spread and contract this disease until this is realized it will not be prevented.

On Your Mind- Interview With Angela Alise Johnson

Angela Alise Johnson

Janelle: Welcome, first I would like to say you were great in the play The Wiz this past weekend. I took my  family and we had a blast laughing. My daughter skipped through the parking lot singing “Ease On Down the Road”. It was great to see you in a role like this.

Angela: Thank you so much Janelle! This role really meant a lot to me and I’m so glad you all liked it!

Janelle: How old are you?

Angela: I am actually turning 27years old on Thanksgiving Day.

Janelle: “Mind of a Brown Skin Beauty” has followers from everywhere, where in the U.S. are you?

Angela: I’m originally from Kansas City, Missouri but I have lived in Chicago now for almost 8 years.

Janelle: How long have you been acting?

Angela: I have been acting since I was maybe 5 or 6 years old.

Janelle: When did you first know you wanted to be an actress?

Angela: I have pretty much always known that I wanted to act, but I would say high school is when my love for theatre got serious. And the older I get, I just keep feeling like if I did anything else it just wouldn’t be
right.

Janelle: Do you sing and dance?

Angela: I sing and love doing it! And I like dancing too but am not very good at all at picking up choreographed dances, so I’m working on it by taking classes.

Janelle: Do you have a Social Networking site that you would like to share?

Angela: I am on Facebook so folks can find me that way, but I am working on a website right now and would love for people to visit it when it is finished. The web address is www.angelaalise.com and it should be all ready to go by the end of the month.

Janelle: Tell us a little about yourself and what makes acting special to you?

Angela: Well let’s see... I come off very shy and quiet to most people when they first meet me. Then once they get to know me they find out I am loud and very opinionated. Lol! I am very family oriented and rely on them a lot to keep me grounded. Theatre is so special to me because it allows me to see the world through another person’s eyes and experience all types of new and interesting things.

Janelle: Who inspires you?

Angela: My parents and brothers inspire me. My parents are very hard working and have instilled in me really great values. I have 3 brothers. Each of them is very unique and talented and they inspire me to keep striving to reach my goals.

Janelle: Do you have a favourite actress/actor?

Angela: It is hard to choose just one because there are so many people I like, but I would say a few of my favs are Meryl Streep, Viola Davis, and Don Cheadle.

Janelle: I saw you in the production of the Wiz, what was it like to be Dorothy?

Angela: It was a very vocally and physically demanding role but I loved every minute of it. I learned so much about myself and the character emotionally. At the end of it all I was extremely exhausted and blessed at the same time! :-)

Janelle: As a young black actress, what are some challenges you’ve faced?

Angela: Being typed cast is the biggest challenge. I hate it when people say I can’t do something because I’m too short or too young or not black enough. You know? It is frustrating but there are a lot of directors out there who love to think outside the box, so I have been getting a lot thicker skinned about these things. And I know that there is another audition just waiting for me.

Janelle: What has been your most favourite role?

Angela: My fav role that I played was Beneatha in A Raisin in the Sun.

Janelle: What advice would you offer to an aspiring actress?

Angela: Just keep working on your craft. That is what all my mentors and teachers have told me. If you want to do something then you learn how and never let anyone stop you from achieving your goals. When one door closes another one opens and that is truly what happens in this business.

Janelle: Is there anything online where we can watch your performances?

Angela: I will have video and sound clips available for people to view online at www.angelaalise.com shortly.
.
Janelle: Here on Mind of a Brown Skin Beauty we like to encourage and uplift, can you tell one time when you wanted to give up, but didn’t?

Angela: I’d say about a year and half ago when I wasn’t doing much theatre, and I felt stuck like I was never going to get back out there again. I wanted to give up but I spent a lot of time praying and crying and talking to my friends and family. And they encouraged me. God and my family are the ones who have believed in me even when I didn’t believe in myself so I really can’t thank them enough for that. And the best thing I have ever done is set a Gospel Station on my Pandora Radio. Gospel music keeps me sane!

Janelle: Where are some of your upcoming performances, so we can check you out?

Angela: I will be performing in a play called Church with the Red Tape Theatre Company. It will run late January to early March. Your readers can visit www.redtapetheatre.org for details and tickets info.

Janelle: What are your future plans?

Angela: My future goals are to find an agent so that I can have help with breaking into tv/film. I also hope to start my own theatre company some day or at least play a major role in a non profit theatre company in Chicago or New York. I am trying to learn as much as I can about the business and artistic side of things.

Janelle: Angela, it has been a pleasure to have such a talented and gifted young woman graces the pages of Mind of a Brown Skin Beauty. You definitely are a “brown skin beauty” with an inspirational mind. Keep up the good work and we looking forward to seeing you on the big screen in the future.

Angela: Thank you Janelle!

Food For Thought- Why I'm Thankful

Happy Thanksgiving!
This Food for Thought closes my Thanksgiving Series. I hope you all had a chance to reflect within yourself and see some of the random things I reflect on.

Last Thanksgiving was a rough time for me, I was going through a terrible heartbreak and the pain felt never ending. The rain tonight reminded me of how I felt and after a moment of sadness, it didn't take much for me to realize why I am thankful.

I am thankful because:

1. My family members are all safe (I love them all, no matter what)
2. I have the best child a mother could ask for.
3. I am in good health and sound mind
4. My friends are wonderful (they guide me through everything, without them I'd break)
5. I am employed (too many people are without)
6. I have a warm place to call home
7. I know who I am
8. I can touch people through my words
9. My heart healed
10. I am loved!

What are some  things you are thankful to have experienced, learned, overcome, shared, or hold dear to you?

Happy Thanksgiving!

Extended Groupon Sale

Don't miss your chance to save. Groupon is still offering the great $25 dollar deal for Nordstrom Rack. It makes for excellent savings and is perfect for holiday shopping. Check it out. I got mine you can get yours below:

Food For Thought- Where Did That Come From?

Defense mode keeps us safe. Sometimes we block out so much that we don't realize that what we're blocking has already gotten in. Anger, love, jealous, lust, etc. can ease through the tiniest crack of a well constructed wall.

For a moment, notice your reactions to certain situations. Our reactions or lack thereof can possibly indicate more about ourselves than we'd care to know. Emotions both good and bad can sometimes leave us asking, "Where did that come from"?

Food For Thought- We All Need

I hate it when people tell me they don't worry about me. They say they always know that I will be okay, no matter what. Granted I appreciate that people know my strengths, but despite my outer shell, I'm very soft on the inside. As much as I worry about others, it would be nice to know someone had the same concern for me.

Just because a person can hold their own, doesn't mean they don't need a shoulder. Look to the friend you always turn to during your troubles and ask if she/he needs anything. You may be surprised.

It's Xmas Shopping Time

I  know some people close to me probably want to smack the jolly cheer out of me because I have been thinking and talking Christmas for months now. I can"t help it, I love Christmas!

Well I started shopping for the lil one last week and to be honest I only have two more things to get. (YAY!) I have been getting some great deals. First off if you haven't already done so, you need to "Like" Walmart, Kmart, Sears, and Target on Facebook. They are running daily deals via alerts and if you are not associated with their pages, you miss out. Walmart has a CrowdSaver item each week. It works like this:

"The CrowdSaver price is only available if the required number of "like" votes is met. This threshold of required votes may vary for each CrowdSaver item. Each customer may only vote to "like" an item once. CrowdSaver prices are only available at Walmart.com. Each customer may purchase only one item at the CrowdSaver price while supplies last. The price is available until we sell out of the item online".

If you have a facebook page, I suggest you check them out.  

If you are a deal shopper like myself, then you know yesterday Groupon ran a deal for Nordstrom Rack. You could buy a Groupon for $25 and get $50 worth of items. Well yesterday the site went bananas and some people weren't able to purchase it. Well Groupon extended the offer. See below:

I cashed in mine today for a sweater dress, a tunic sweater,pink lip gloss, and a pair of "Not Your Daughter Jeans". My total was $52.67. so all I paid additional was $2.67! So my Groupon was $25, therefore I paid $27.67 for everything. The jeans alone retail for $108 bucks. So I can't complain. Nordstrom Rack is defintely one of my favorite stores.

I usually visit resale stores for handbags, belts, and books. I am never lucky enough to come across a great jacket or coat. However today I came across a beautiful dress in my size and in great condition, it looks new!! I am going to get it dry cleaned and post a picture for you guys when I wear it. At that time I'll let you guys guess the price I paid. I am so excited about it. I always watch videos of some of my favorite Youtubers who get these great deals, but I never luck up. But today I found some great steals. Of course the dress was awesome, but I also got the items in the picture for a total of $7.87!!

The purse was $3, the necklaces $2.50 and $1.50!! I love the purse. The picture does not do it justice. The detailing on it is great and it is worn leather (very vintage) It will pair great with some dark jeans and camel or dark brown boots!

Well, those were my deals. Please pass along any special offers or websites you may have. Hope everyone is enjoying there weekend. I know I did!

Food for Thought- It's Not Suppose to Hurt

A man that loves you won't tear out your heart only to say he loves you.

Food For Thought- Chivalry Better Still Exist

Chivalry: the knightly class of feudal times. The primary sense of the term in the European Middle Ages is “knights,” or “fully armed and mounted fighting men.” Thence the term came to mean the gallantry and honour expected of knights.

Lastly, the word came to be used in its general sense of “courtesy.”

If you as a woman feel that chivalry is non-existent, you will keep getting treated by men as if it is. The main word in this definition is "courtesy".  I don't know what creeps are being allowed to behave in a manner less than courteous, but I know from experience that Chivalry does still exist.

A man that doesn't take the time to hold the door for you or carry your things, probably shouldn't make it in the bedroom to hold your panties. If you demand respect you will get respect, or he will take a hike and those are the type of guys you want to keep moving anyway! 

Chivalry is not dead, people are just letting things slide that shouldn't. As the definition says, " the gallantry and honour expected of knights". You can't be my knight if you are letting doors fall on me while you push your way ahead of me. Stop settling.

Yep, I'm a handful!



Reference
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/chivalry

Stop Spying

I find it interesting that when I was a compromising and forgiving woman, unsolicited advice about "How Not to be a Doormat" was handed out: "Girl, don't let that man walk all over you", or "A man will only do what you allow", these phrases and many more were screamed to the top of the "bitter woman hill" by so many people. "Cheerleaders" as I like to call them, had advice for just about everything. "Girl please, you are a good one" or my favorite "I wish I would....". You wish you would what? I always wanted to ask, but didn't, because I knew I would get the "sista girl neck roll" followed by a bunch of bull-ish.

Now the role is reversed many of these same women are either miserably married, or desperately seeking the acceptance of a man to make her his "wifey". I laugh now because the mistakes I made in my 20s I watch as people my age and older make and then some. Since I don't have the patience nor the time to raise a grown man, to be just that "A grown man" I cut those issues short. Now my forgiveness is earned and compromise goes both ways. But I find the advice I hear in discussion with my female counterpart is "well at least he is trying", or "most men wouldn't even bother". Oh really? Is that right? How is that your neck stopped rolling when you "fell in love" with "less than Mr.Perfect"?

The difference isn't that their man is any better or necessarily worse than the ones from the past, it's just that now they've suddenly fallen off the high horse and can't follow their own advice. Sometimes advice given isn't even worth tuning in. People secretly whisper and spy in on your life anticipating how they would act in every given situation. However, when they are no longer watching and have the starring role it suddenly becomes different. Women for some reason feel the need to play devils advocate on everyone's life but their own. The truth is, you never know how you will act in a situation until you are placed in that situation. I am sure some will argue that point because we all know our limits. But we also know there can be a thin line on compromise and when that line is crossed or even stepped on, our decision making can sometimes be swayed, especially if it is something or someone you truly desire.

Good thing for me, I have always been my own woman. I don't listen to what others have to say about people. I make my own judgments and follow my own mind. If you have people judging you or your lifestyle it may be time to step back and see how many eyes are spying on you. A watchful eye is usually beheld by someone or something plotting it's next move. Don't let people change the person that you are, if you are happy when you look in the mirror. Some people are better left playing "inspector gadget" or "secret agent" in their own lives and not others.

Get what I'm saying?

Food for Thought- Baby I Deserve

You deserve to be with someone that doesn't have to hope and cross his fingers that one day he'll  possibly, maybe, probably fall in love with you.

Food For Thought- Give Me Back My Heart?

Is there a hole in my heart, or does it just feel like something will forever be missing?

Has anyone ever felt this way? A lost love that got a way, a breakup that never healed, the loss of a loved one, etc.  Does your heart ever become whole again? What do you all think?

Introducing Food For Thought Thanksgiving Series

Morning Loves,

I have decided that with the holidays fast approaching and this year is coming to a close, I have so much on my mind. This past year has been a whirlwind of sorts for me. Many highs and some very low lows. I will be bringing you a Food For Thought each day before Thanksgiving. Please chime in and feel free to express yourself.

It's Veterans Day!

A large portion of my 9-5 consists of assisting Veterans with using their VA Educational benefits to attend college.  Even without the direct daily contact of Veterans, they house a great deal of warmth and respect in my heart. I have family and close friends that have served and are serving in the U.S. military. 

I can hear the line in the Marvin Gaye Song “What’s Going On”, the words simply said: “You see, war is not the answer, for only love can conquer hate”. I remember I was so young and small when I heard this song, I didn’t understand what they were singing about; I just knew it made me sad. My mother was listening to it and I remember her telling me what it meant, and as a child it was scary more than anything. 

Fast forward to the present and I listen to this song several times a week. For those that don’t know, Marvin Gaye is a huge inspiration in my writings. I toss in his CD in the mornings and zone out on my way to work. 

This particular song and “Make Me Wanna Holla” captured the very explicit reality of the economy, emotional spirit, and downward effects of the war. Many say that Marvin Gaye expressed himself in a way that was well ahead of his time. People weren’t ready for the truths he let flow across the airways.

Afraid isn’t the emotion I feel anymore when I hear these songs. I am moved beyond emotions when I hear how songs created decades ago can still speak so clearly to the issues in the world NOW. It definitely “make me wanna holla” to ask for an answer to “What’s going on”? 

Today is Veterans Day, a day to honor those that have served and who are continuing to serve to protect our country. While we pay respect and say “Thank you” let’s not forget some hard statistics. 

Did you know?

“Although flawless counts are impossible to come by – the transient nature of homeless populations presents a major difficulty – VA estimates that 107,000 veterans are homeless on any given night. Over the course of a year, approximately twice that many experience homelessness. Only eight percent of the general population can claim veteran status, but nearly one-fifth of the homeless population are veterans, (National Coalition of Homeless Veterans, 2010.

Did you also know?

“According to the 2008 Annual Homeless Assessment Report to Congress, more than 135,000 adults who served in the armed forces were homeless in a shelter at some point between October 2007 and September 2008, the majority residing in emergency rather than transitional shelters”, (U.S. Department of Veterans Affair, The National Center on Homelessness Among Veterans, 2010) .

And were you aware?

“Roughly 56 percent of all homeless veterans are African American or Hispanic, despite only accounting for 12.8 percent and 15.4 percent of the U.S. population respectively.

About 1.5 million other veterans, meanwhile, are considered at risk of homelessness due to poverty, lack of support networks, and dismal living conditions in overcrowded or substandard housing”, (National Coalition of Homeless Veterans, 2010).  

As we struggle through our own issues of the current economical hardship we face on a daily, remember those that fight for us, yet may have less or in some case return home to nothing. So if nothing else say thank you, “like” a friend’s Vet related Facebook status update, or Retweet a positive Veterans Day comment on Twitter. Many of these unsung heroes just need to be acknowledged.  Stay encouraged and be blessed! 

Never heard the songs listen below. 

References:

The National Coalition for Homeless Veterans (NCHV) Background & Statistics. Retrieved November 11, 2010, from http://www.nchv.org/background.cfm#facts

 

U.S. Department of Veterans Affair, The National Center on Homelessness Among Veterans, Retrieved. November 11, 2010, from http://www1.va.gov/HOMELESS/NationalCenter_Mission.asp

Educational Field Trips On Your Own

Do any of the moms out there take field trips with the kids on the weekends?

My daughter and I go on field trips often and each time I try to make them a learning experience. Well this weekend was a trip to the Museum of Science and Industry.

She has been begging to go to the museum for months. I bought a membership a couple of months ago. The trips are also a time for us to bond and talk about...well, girl stuff. The museum is great, way more exciting than when I was a kid. We got a lesson in fashion, just see below:

How would you feel about having a piece of clothing you change into something different with a blow dryer? Interesting, huh?

She is big on science and this was the perfect place to talk about things. Read about different subjects and ask questions up front. She didn't have too many questions about this one, surprisingly. I think there was a motion machine in the distance that grabbed her attention.

.

Our time was short there, which I planned it that way. I figured two hours in a museum was more than enough to get the curiosity settled and knowledge thriving. On our way to the exit we ran into the hospital exhibit. It was a place where participants could interact in a hospital like setting and work on "iStan". iStan is the life like dummy that has real medical conditions the objective is try to diagnose iStan's medical problem. Participants ages 12 and older get to interact in this experience. My little one was too young to participate, but considering she wants to be a Neurologist (Brain Doctor as she says) she was mesmerized.

We are definitely planning at least two more trips before the year ends. Under my membership we can go as many times as we want and the best thing is that everything is FREE!! There was a Jim Henson exhibit, Christmas Around the World and Holidays of Light, and many many more.  I almost forgot that I purchased my membership as a Groupon. So I got a fabulous deal.

The Wiz

The Tony Award-winning version of Dorothy’s adventures in the Land of Oz set to a dazzling, lively mixture of rock, gospel and soul music. The whole family will enjoy this timeless fable about the discovery that home is where the heart is.

http://www.dom.edu/pac/wiz.html
 

The Wiz is a classical favorite 1978 film featured Dianna Ross, Michael Jackson, Nipsey Russell and Ted Knight. The production promises to stay true to the orginial. I intend to see this play this upcoming weekend. If you are in IL, please check it out and tell me what you think. For show times and more information visit http://www.dom.edu/pac/wiz.html

The play runs this weekend November 12-14.Tickets are reasonably priced Adult tickets are $15 and children are $5.

I will also be reviewing the play and interviewing the very talented Ms. Angela Alise Johnson who will be portraying "Dorothy". Come check it out so you can share your thoughts with me. Check back for the review and interview coming soon. See a sneak peek!

Angela A. Johnson as Dorothy in "The Wiz"

Winner of the Mini Makeover Giveaway!

WINNER of the Mini Makeover Giveaway

For those that follow me on Facebook, Twitter, and visit my blog on a regular you know that I was very excited about my first giveaway. This was a special giveaway to me. It was designed to give each woman a reason to write one wonderful word under the giveaway post about “her” on a daily basis.

It was a week to be confident and proud. The words were enlightening to see. The comments were a delight and I hope it made each entrant reflect on how she is special in her own way. Mind of a Brown Skin Beauty is about the celebration of a being a woman. It’s about uplifting each other and moving forward despite the differences we encounter.

Thanks to everyone for entering and for all you support.

Each contestant was allowed to enter once a day, each day. I used a random number generator to pick the winner. So without further delay the winner is……

Jacqueline Obillo

Congratulations!

Winner~ Winner ~ Winner

Jacqueline please contact me at brownmindbeauty@gmail.com with your shipping info.

Everyone, continue self reflecting and staying motivated. Again thank you all and look for another giveaway coming soon.

Food For Thought- Elementary Art

I stopped drawing circles in Kindergarten. If you find yourself ending in the same place you started it's time to put the pencil away and draw some lines with permanent markers that have direction.

Connect the dots is the easiest way to teach a child how to draw, but as an adult I refuse to keep connecting dots that only form perfect circles. I'm laying my pencil down, how about you?

Pay it Forward- Holiday Blessings

I am passing this information along via a friend from Facebook posting. Let anyone you know that may be in need to check it out.

If anyone is in need of or know anyone in need of a blessing, Temple of Praise Binding and Loosing Ministries International, Located @ 12900 South Halsted Street Chicago, Illinois (Pastor Ladell Jones and Jolinda Wade) will be giving away food and turkeys to the 1st 200 people on Saturday Nov 20th at 8:00 am (1st Come, 1st Serve) Pass the Word.... Be a Blessing....

Food for Thought- From One Woman to Another

From one woman to another: step back, let it hurt, let it go, and love yourself first. "Girl, you gotta love yourself more than a man"...Only a good friend can say it like that. Be a better friend and listen.

Sometimes a great girlfriend will say things to you that make you want to cry because you know she speaks the truth. Then there are times when an even greater girlfriend will catch the tear before it touches your cheek.

Know who has your best interest at heart and who "hardly" cares.

Can't a Girl Dream?

There is so much more to life than the hustle and bustle of daily activities. As far as I can remember my life has always moved at full speed ahead, with some awkward curves and a few forks in the road, but never a slowing point. Sure I've been stalled by railroad crossing and bad weather, but I have never pulled over to the side to take a rest.

I've never gone on an actual trip, non-business related of course. I've never relaxed by the pool side, or sipped Martinis on a sandy beach. How I dream of that day.

I need for my soul to be fed. I crave the excitement of surprise. The taste of a sweet delightful night of rest. Even a pedicure would be nice, maybe a little breakfast in bed. A delicious candle lit bath, prepared for me with a glass of white wine. So I close my eyes, "I wish, I wish with all inside, to find a place where I can hide".

As quickly as I can dream, I am reminded of my responsibilities and the guilt of the pleasure of my fantasy skips through my head.

Can't a girl dream?

I will find a way to treat myself to something nice before 2011 chimes in and another year has passed me by.

Any suggestions?

Food For Thought- What About Others?

Life is too short and important to be busy "all" the time. Take a moment to notice what's before your eyes or it my disappear in a blink!

Happy Halloween!!

Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone

Happy Halloween!!

My not-so scary black cat costume. Feel free to share your pictures or Halloween post with me. Be safe!

Food For Thought- Take Back

Sometimes actions, words, or untruths are hard to move pass, even if a person is truly seeking your forgiveness. Hurt deep down inside can make it difficult to forget, but love makes it easier to forgive.

Can you ever trust someone again, if you are consistently blocking your heart from sorrow? In the game of love should everyone be given a "take back" card? The card would serve as a chance to right a wrong. If so, does the card come with rules? Are the rules spoken or unspoken?

Or is it best to "fold" with the hand you were dealt and cut your losses?

On Your Mind- Interview with William Woods

Meet Mr. William Woods, creative designer behind the layout for Mind of a Brown Skin Beauty. He shares how he got started, his inspirations, a glimpse of his work, and his tips for aspiring young business men.

Janelle: Welcome, it is nice to have a positive male figure grace the pages of  Mind of a Brown Skin Beauty. Let's get started, what is your name? 

WW: William Woods

Janelle: How old are you?

WW: 33

Janelle: What is the name of your business?

WW: IndivisualTM Graphics and Multimedia

Janelle: How old is your business?

WW: 11 years, since June 1999.

Janelle: “Mind of a Brown Skin Beauty” has followers from everywhere, where in the U.S. are you?

WW: Country Club Hills, IL

Janelle: What’s your business’ URL?

WW: http://graphics.indivisualinc.com

Janelle: Do you have a Social Networking site for your business that you would like to share?

WW: We can be found on Facebook by searching “Indivisual Graphics and Multimedia”

Janelle: Tell us a little about your business.

WW: GM was started in June 1999. We used to focus solely on print/logo design. But as our clientele grew,
so did our skill set. By 2004, we had begun to offer fully-hosted websites, interactive presentations (CD/DVD-ROM), and Audio/Video Production. We pride ourselves in offering these creative services at seriously competitive prices. IGM is often viewed as a “one-stop shop” that can create professional-looking work for any situation. Today, we handle projects that range from your next set of business cards, to your upcoming TV/online commercial.

Janelle: How did you come up with the idea to start a graphic design business?

WW: One of my side hustles since being in undergraduate school in 1996 has always been freelance graphic design. I would provide some of these same services to upstart businesses and such just to have some extra money to work with. This also helped strengthen my professional design approach so my work would be worth the price I was asking. After completing my Bachelor’s in Visual Communications, and building a small clientele over the 3 years that followed, I figured that it would only be right to put my education and freelance experience together and start my own company.

Janelle: What inspired your design for the layout for “Mind of a Brown Skin Beauty”?

WW: Of course, the use of brown in the color scheme was derived from the blog’s title. Brown is a color that, when used correctly, reflects “nature”. This blog celebrates being “natural” and “beautiful” in many ways. The different shades of brown reflect this value. I tried to create a layout that made that same emphatic statement. I also wanted to create a layout that reflected Janelle Wade as a person. The roughly textured background presents the struggles that are behind the author and/or viewer. The illustration of Janelle was meant to speak as a proclamation of happiness and confidence, frozen in time to serve as a reminder of how everyone should view his or her self; as works of “art”… in progress. The flowers reflect the blossoming of personal and professional achievements to come for both the author, and her viewers. It can also serve as one marveling at their own reflection saying “Through it all, look what I’ve become.”

Janelle: That is exactly what this Blog is all about and you captured it. What is so amazing is that I only told you a few words of what I was looking for and I placed complete creative control in your hands, and wow! Thank you! So tell me, what are your future plans for your business?

WW: You're welcomed. In the next 5 years, I plan for IndivisualTM Graphics and Multimedia to expand its reach to service the kind of clientele that operates with contracts and annual budgets. It is time to “go international”.

Janelle: What advice would you offer to an aspiring entrepreneur interested in graphic design?

WW: Set your price, and STICK TO IT! Don’t be afraid to let some potential clients walk out before you start their project. If this were easy, everyone would be doing it. Clients are not paying for the end result, but for the time, thought, and tweaking of that project. Consider all of this when setting your prices, along with down payments! Undercut your competitors while making the dollar amount worth your while. Document everything with invoices and receipts. Finally, operate with the same integrity and precision that the pros use daily.

Janelle: One more thought tell us one thing that makes your business unique?

WW: I don’t believe in “nickel-and-diming” my clients. I love to work within the budget of honest, up-front people. One of the biggest compliments I receive is when I hear a client say “For what you charged, I got MORE than I was expecting.”

Janelle: Would you like to share anything else about yourself or your business?

WW: IGM now offers on-site Personal Computer (Windows/Mac) Training, as well as training on most Graphic Design software and processes. Rates vary based on duration, skill level, etc.
Contact us at  708.781.3935 or indivisual@sbcglobal.net for more details.

Janelle: How do perspective clients contact you?

WW: 708.781.3935 or indivisual@sbcglobal.net

Janelle: Thank you William for sharing your creativity with us. I love the new layout. It was a pleasure working with you and a wonderful opportunity to learn more about your passion. I look forward to working with you in the future.

1st Giveaway- It's a Mini Makeover

I love all things girly. My favorite colors are purple and pink, so that should tell you!!

Well, in addition to the colorful things of womanhood, I love hair, makeup, perfumes and oh I can not forget about jewelry. I sure do love my earrings and you will always catch me in a dress or skirt. It didn't take much for me to figure out what I wanted to giveaway. It was easy, I wanted to give items away that would make a woman feel pretty and for someone, nudge her just a step out of comfort zone. Mind of a Brown Skin Beauty is all about accentuating  and appreciating the beauty both internally and externally. Sometimes it is necessary to take a moment out for yourself to just relax.

As mothers, sisters, wives, girlfriends, employees, etc. it is easy to forget you are a lady. A lady that once enjoyed high heels, wigs, lipsticks, tight dresses, purses, and nail polish. We take care of everyone and at the end of the day we just don't have the energy to take care of ourselves. Well allow me to help someone with a nice treat for themselves or someone special. Men are welcomed to enter as well. The winner will receive all the products in the picture below. Enjoy!

 The rules are simple.

1. You must be a follower of Mind of a Brown Skin Beauty
2. You must comment below this post one positive word about yourself per entry
3. Share this blog post giveaway with someone on Facebook, Blogger, Twitter, email, etc.
4. Enter as many times as you like to increase your odds (Only 1 entry per day)
5. A winner will be selected at random

THAT'S IT...YOU'RE ENTERED FOR YOUR CHANCE TO WIN!

The contest will being on 10/28/10 at 10 p.m CST and will end on 11/5/10 at 10 p.m. CST. The winner will be randomly selected through a computerized process and will be announced on 11/8/10.  Please visit the blog at that time for the name of the winner. The winner will be given instructions on how to claim their prize, a valid email address is required. If the prize is not claimed within 7 days a new winner will be selected and so forth until the prize is claimed. All products are brand new, never opened or used and are the sole responsibility of the winner. Directions for product use should be followed according to the company's instructions.

Good Luck to everyone.

My 100th Blog Post, New Layout and 1st Giveaway!

This is my 100th blog post and a very special chance to say thank you. This blog is to inspire, encourage, and uplift.

This Is Me

By: Janelle Wade

So beautiful is she with her curves

She has the power to make every man’s head turn

Skin like milk chocolate melted on a summer day

Hair dark and curly

A smile that sparkles like moonlit rays

Broad nose and cheeks so high

Thickness in her legs and thighs

Eyes almond in deep brown

She speaks with such an angelic sound

Waist perfect for a tight hold

Breast strong and firm yet so bold

Smooth and soft thick lips

Curvy, shapely, sleek round hips

Body of a goddess so I’ve heard

Come ride with me; experience the roller coaster of my words

Welcome inside my mind…This is me

I am who I am

Food for Thought- If It Don't Fit, Don't Force It

Would you settle for a relationship or a marriage if all it provided you was a chance to not be alone?

I think too many times women settle to say "I do", for the sake of doing what society says is right.  I'd rather be happy and single, than with someone and miserable. I probably self reflect more than the average person, but I also think I am at a point of knowing what is that I want and not being willing to accept anything less.

Life is to be enjoyed.

Is there a misconception to what should be expected in considering a life partner? I no longer believe that men are commitment phobic to the extent I once did. My attitude is "if it don't fit, don't force it and keep it moving". I'd rather feel partially full alone temporarily, if it meant I would not have to feel empty forever.

Pumpkins, Popcorn, Petting Zoo and All

This weekend was great, we went to the pumpkin farm. I was excited about the farm all week, probably more than my daughter and niece. I just love the colors of fall, and it was an oddly warm day for the end of October. We arrived at the farm around 2 p.m. and hit the haunted barn first. The little lady was terrified and refused to step a foot inside. Needless to say, I went in. It was definitely a family atmosphere. There was no one grabbing your clothes or yelling in your face., it was simply mechanic ghouls and goblins behind cages. The children enjoyed themselves greatly.

There was a fun house, corn maze, and a hayride. Overall, the experience was fun. This is the second year that we have attended and I am sure we will be going back next year. The petting zoo is still my favorite spot, (although the slob from the animals tends to gross me out). I love feeding the animals. I must admit the idea of a kangaroo with his little tongue in the palm of my hand made me step back more than once, I still loved it. We pigged out on chili dogs, nachos, popcorn, and apple treats.

On a side note looking at the changing colors of the trees and the different array of orange pumpkins, reminds me that fall is my favorite season.  It is hard to believe the year is coming to an end.  Fall kicks off the start of the holiday season. I'm thinking it is time for Christmas shopping.

What are you plans for Halloween?

The Woman That I Am

The Woman That I Am

By: Janelle Wade

You can’t define me as a woman by only seeing my sex appeal

Don’t define me as a woman from how my hips rock

Don’t define me as a woman by if my breasts are real

Don’t keep me locked away from the world outside

The beauty…the brilliance…the exotic walk

The loving…the caring…the romantic talk

You can’t define me as a woman by how I look

You can’t define me as a woman by how I cook

But you don’t see the woman that I am

You don’t see what makes me who I am

I have been nothing but a good woman

Only the lord will know

All the pain and suffering

You will soon reap what you sew

Close your eyes and hear my voice

The woman that I am is deep inside

The woman that I am is who you try to hide

You can’t define me as a woman by only seeing my sex appeal

Don’t define me as a woman from how my hips rock

Don’t define me as a woman by if my breasts are real

Don’t keep me locked away from the world outside

The beauty…the brilliance…the exotic walk

The loving…the caring…the romantic talk

Define me from the words I speak

Define me from the dreams and aspirations I seek

Define my heart for its forgiving nature

Define me as a woman because I am

A beautiful black woman, strong and secure

Hurt and disabled, but knows to be tough

I am the woman that walks with her head held high

Define me as a woman that has had enough

Define me by my character

Define me by my hopes and my dreams

Respect me for who I am

You can’t define me as a woman by only seeing my sex appeal

Don’t define me as a woman from how my hips rock

Don’t define me as a woman by if my breasts are fake or real

Don’t keep me locked away from the world outside

The beauty…the brilliance…the exotic walk

The loving…the caring…the romantic talk

But you don’t see the woman that I am

Look deep inside and see what makes me who I am

A Man Would Be Proud to Call His Own

It's not your looks, you're very pretty
It's not your style, the way you dress is oh so fresh
It's not the way that you carry yourself

Oh, girl I'm sorry, you're not my kind of girl
'Cause you're the kind of girl
That a man's dreams are made of 

From the album Heart Break © 1988 MCA

 

This topic has been on my mind for the last few weeks and I started it with my post Food For Thought- Your Sunshine Then this morning during some self refection this song came on the radio. I know that the lyrics of this song is where I was headed with that post. So the discussion continues. In a perfect world, a nice, beautiful, caring woman would have a nice, loving, caring man. But we all know we don't live in a perfect world. In the real world, we live with backwards thinking and inside out hearts. Okay, that is harsh, but trust me I have a point.

So the morning goes as such. I was already contemplating the next topic to share with you guys and then this song came on the radio. Well I turned up the volume and began to reminisce. How I love me some New Edition, but that's not the point. The lyrics stood out to me. Seriously, how did I miss this song in the past?? It was exactly what I wanted to say in my previous post, but wasn't sure how to express it. So here you go.

Men, and not all men, tend to sing this song often. If you've ever had those lyrics or their likeness said to you, then you know how devastated and confused you feel. You think you're great, you cook, you listen, you support, you are the ultimate "lady in the streets, and a freak in the bed", so you thought. Then he hits you with the "you're perfect, of course some man would be lucky to have you", but whatever the case may be he isn't the man that wants to have you. Maybe you didn't smile bright enough or you forgot his favorite piece of lingerie is the hot red teddy with the string that goes way up yonder. Whatever it was that triggered an "NE Heartbreak", he doesn't want you. You're heartbroken and you experience a moment of self esteem assassination. You start to question your appeal, and wonder where you went wrong. You think, maybe you should have stuffed that too small piece of thread up your cheeks more than 3 times a week, or maybe letting him air out his insecurities on your "little black" couch more than every three months wasn't enough. The world may never know.

At some point I thought it was just a way out, (which to some degree it is), but I also think more importantly men know exactly what they want regardless of how wonderful you are, even to them. Men get a rep for being selfish, but are they really wrong? Rather or not we agree with a man's notion to sing "You're Not My Kind of Girl", we have to acknowledge that if you have to tell them you're what they want, then chances are...you're NOT.

Women, on the other hand sometimes tend to compromise what they want and work with the possibility that a man could be better. Though this theory never ends well, for whatever reason we expect or want men to do the same. I have to respect the idea that as a woman I should have sung the remix "You're Not My Kind of Man" to several "potentials"on several different occasions.Truthfully, if I could have emotions like a man, then life would be so simple. I'd have a booty like Trina and a mind like a pimp, I'd rule the world (joking).

Seriously, is the way men think really that outrageous or should women just use the same logic and stop sacrificing??

I know for me, I'm going to get what I want and if not I'll be remixing some songs.  Later Chicas!